As some of you probably know, Chan and I met online years ago (I think it was 2010 or 11) and have been friends ever since. Our many and frequent plans to “meet” in person usually get pushed to the wayside because life is unfair and the fates work against us because they’re jealous.
However, that hasn’t ever stopped us from talking and keeping in constant touch when we can. Which is not always about the blog.
The thing is, Chan loves to talk… jabber, yammer, hammer, and every other er. She literally adores it complete with flower garlands and burning altar candles. You just cannot shut her up once she gets started, and of course I am not lying. Why would you think that? Why would anyone think that? Just because I do long form articles from time to time (see: rarely) and turn all my stories into sagas, does not make me a talker. And, my social media accounts mean nothing either. They are a necessity. (Btw, I’m also on Instagram now, and have about 2 followers in total, which sucks, so go find me and make me feel stalked, ok?)
Logically though, how would you even know if I were lying, right? So, if you like I could link you up with the huz who will definitely vouch for how non-talkative I am.
I mean, my mother will vouch for me. The huz is at work. He’s very busy.
The one thing I love about my chats with Chan either via Skype, email, or Viber is how deep and meaningful some of those conversations get. We have an extremely selfless and caring friendship, are always respectful of each other no matter what, and never intentionally hurt the next. Along with all that, we have, over the years learned a lot about each other as well. Like for instance I know Chan has a serious aversion to the killing of animals, and can never find it in her heart to condone it. It affects her emotionally and deeply. And, she knows I love steak, which can get weird, but she handles it well. Still, we remain respectful and get along without issue. Maybe it’s the joint blog we don’t want to screw up, maybe it’s our joint love for Bruce Springsteen…
Maybe it’s because I like her almost as much as I like steak… Who knows?
Anyway, for our (almost daily) evening chats, we mostly use Viber and not the more popular Whatsapp because, someone
who is not me has a pretty unhealthy obsession for the Viber sticker store.
Like Lindsay has for rehab, and Kanye for himself, and Kim for thinking all designer brands suit her.
But, that’s not the point of this post.
So, getting to the point of this post… It’s Wordy Wednesday, and to give you all a glimpse of how beautifully meaningful our chats can get, here is an excerpt from one of Chan’s and my recent Viber sessions (ok, that sounds hilarious in my head. Viber… Sessions. Hahaha)
Chan: I don’t know why people are gaga over David Rocco. I think Chuck is the hottest chef on TV. And, the man is so rock n roll. And yes I am hungry after watching for an hour.
Chan: *inserts Chuck Hughes’ picture* (Big smiling picture)
Chan: *inserts sticker of cute dog saying “Food?”*
Me: I don’t know who they are.
Chan: Hehehe – They are the chefs on TLC all the time.
Me: I don’t watch cooking shows. Guys in kitchens don’t turn me on.
Chan: Forget the guys. You are missing out on total food porn.
Chan: And, Chuck is a pure rock dude and makes super bar food.
Me: But, what is the point of watching food being made if you cannot eat it?
Me: *inserts cute dog sticker saying “Huh?”
Chan: *inserts cute dog sticker saying “Say What?”*
Chan: *cute dog sticker “LOL”*
Chan: You can make it
Chan: *inserts sticker of a bone tied with a bow*
Me: Yeah right. Yesterday you watched and complained how hungry you were.
Me: *sticker #Food*
Chan: That’s the point. Then I get to complain.
Chan: *cute dog sticker “Oops”*
Me: *cute dog sticker “Interesting”*
Me: You’re nuts.
Chan: You are missing out on great food knowledge.
Me: For food knowledge I send my kids to cooking classes.
Chan: If you have not learnt how to bake a cake of a giant duck in a tub with a shower, which has icing water flowing, and icing bubbles, you don’t know shit.
Chan: *cute dog sticker “Whatever!”*
Me: Yes, because watching a rocker guy doing it on a screen makes you an expert.
Me: *cute dog sticker “This is Epic”*
Chan: He does not make cake!!!!!!!!!!!!
Chan: I saw some stupid woman do that.
Chan: He makes things like potato chips.
Chan: *cute dog sticker “Yeah baby!”*
Chan: He makes things like fish!!!!!!
Chan: And steak.
Chan: And salad.
Chan: And hot chocolate
Chan: So shut up.
Me: Potato chips? Hahaha and he needs a show for that?
Chan: He is cool… And, he always wears black.
Chan: cute dog sticker “Talk to the Paw”*
Chan: *cute dog sticker “Yes”*
Me: Um… everyone can make fish, steaks, etc. 5 years olds can make hot chocolate. They don’t need a show on TV.
Me: *cute dog sticker “LOL”*
Chan: They do
Chan: There are secret techniques.
Chan: Like making expression marshmallows
Chan: *cute dog sticker “Grrr”*
Chan: You don’t know what you’re missing not watching cookery shows.
Me: Like what? Add sugar with cinnamon for added zest? That’s like Durex adding ribs for extra pleasure.
Chan: *cute dog sticker “Whatever!!”*
Chan: Some people are just not meant for chef de cuisine.
Me: You know he supports the killing of baby cows right? Veal steaks. Freshly killed right off Mommy’s breast.
Chan: *Violet crying sticker*
Chan: *Violet shocked sticker*
Me: Appreciate THAT
Me: *cute dog sticker “Gotcha!*”
Chan: He didn’t make veal. I’m sure of it.
Chan: It was some old bulls about to die.
Chan: Mercy killings
Me: Go check his recipe archives.
Chan: *fearful fox sticker*
Me: I will link you.
Me: He murders baby seals for “expression soup”
Chan: How can people eat veal?
Chan: And rabbits? Jamie Oliver shot a rabbit on TV. And ATE it.
Chan: *cute dog crying sticker*
Chan: Oh, I’m going on a juice cleanse tomorrow.
Chan: *cute fox thumbs up sticker*
Chan: One day cleanse
Me: Wait… I’m reading Chuck’s veal chop with stewed tomatoes and white bean recipe.
Chan: I never read a single one of his recipes
Me: I will send you a YouTube link
Chan: You missed my juice cleanse declaration
Chan: Because, you’re obsessing about Chuck now
Me: No, I didn’t. But, you can watch him stew a baby cow.
Me: I was waiting till you finished orgasming
Chan: He does not kill baby cows!!
Me: Tell me about your revisions.
Chan: *angry fox sticker “No!”*
How wordy do you get with your friends?
Let me know.