Chani, Whispered Monologues

Gender Equality is Your Issue too! – HeForShe

In the abject gloom I was in during the last couple of days at being reminded of the way the world perceives me simply because I am a woman… I was heartened to see this spark of light through the grim smoke of despair.

Emma Watson, yes that little Harry Potter witch made a speech at the United Nations that sent waves around the world and she highlighted a very important fact that many people have forgotten in the long struggle, gender equality is not only a women’s issue. It is as much a man’s issue as well. Unsurprisingly she was rewarded for this speech in the most predictable way possible by everyone who felt the chill of her spell on the base of their spine. The threat of unleashing nude photographs of her. It was a hoax of course but the aim was to put her firmly back in the box and telling her very firmly to shut up.

The point was crystal clear and it was exactly what TOI gave back to Deepika  if you dare to stand up for anything controversial then someone out there is going to make it their mission to humiliate and shame you for doing so. Any woman who has ever spoken up against any kind of gender discrimination would soon find herself being told firmly to step back behind the line, an not very politely too I might add.

One key thing that struck me in this speech was this,

“If men don’t have to be aggressive in order to be accepted women won’t feel compelled to be submissive. If men don’t have to control, women won’t have to be controlled.”

This is a very powerful statement. Especially considering our part of the world where this dynamic is something that is powerfully promoted. How often do we see this in pop culture? Advertisements, movies, soap operas where the ‘goody’ woman is saintly, submissive and all enduring while the man is brass insensitive and all knowing. His word is final and the woman’s role is to listen to that and submit. Men who are sensitive are often called a fairy.On the flip side the outspoken, independent woman is often portrayed as a vamp.

There is also another far more dangerous portrayal that exists where they show loud bratty downright uncouth women as feminists and even worse go on to portray these women to be on some kind of a crusade to find a man and turn him into a lap dog to as a demonstration of their power. This drive however miraculously dissipates the moment the man pops the question and then instantly the woman meekly fall back into the typical submissive Stepford wife who blushes when his hand brushes against hers. So all that bravado was to get hitched. This is the worst form of submission and in my opinion far more dangerous.

“If we stop defining each other by what we are not and start defining ourselves by what we are—we can all be freer “

Next time someone stands up for something instead of trying to humiliate her for reminding us all of these facts, we should stop, listen and join her in trying to change it. Because it’s not just about her, it’s about all of us.

Like  of the Guardian said “How depressing to be silenced by a threat, to believe that each time you point out an injustice you just bring more harm to yourself. The only way we solve this is by being vocal in our condemnation of the people who try to tear others down.”


Read Emma Watson’s Full Speech

Speech by UN Women Goodwill Ambassador Emma Watson at a special event for the HeForShe campaign, United Nations Headquarters, New York, 20 September 2014

“Today we are launching a campaign called “HeForShe.”

I am reaching out to you because I need your help. We want to end gender inequality—and to do that we need everyone to be involved.

This is the first campaign of its kind at the UN: we want to try and galvanize as many men and boys as possible to be advocates for gender equality. And we don’t just want to talk about it, but make sure it is tangible.

I was appointed six months ago and the more I have spoken about feminism the more I have realized that fighting for women’s rights has too often become synonymous with man-hating. If there is one thing I know for certain, it is that this has to stop.

For the record, feminism by definition is: “The belief that men and women should have equal rights and opportunities. It is the theory of the political, economic and social equality of the sexes.”

I started questioning gender-based assumptions when at eight I was confused at being called “bossy,” because I wanted to direct the plays we would put on for our parents—but the boys were not.

When at 14 I started being sexualized by certain elements of the press.

When at 15 my girlfriends started dropping out of their sports teams because they didn’t want to appear “muscly.”

When at 18 my male friends were unable to express their feelings.

I decided I was a feminist and this seemed uncomplicated to me. But my recent research has shown me that feminism has become an unpopular word.

Apparently I am among the ranks of women whose expressions are seen as too strong, too aggressive, isolating, anti-men and, unattractive.

Why is the word such an uncomfortable one?

I am from Britain and think it is right that as a woman I am paid the same as my male counterparts. I think it is right that I should be able to make decisions about my own body. I think it is right that women be involved on my behalf in the policies and decision-making of my country. I think it is right that socially I am afforded the same respect as men. But sadly I can say that there is no one country in the world where all women can expect to receive these rights.

No country in the world can yet say they have achieved gender equality.

These rights I consider to be human rights but I am one of the lucky ones. My life is a sheer privilege because my parents didn’t love me less because I was born a daughter. My school did not limit me because I was a girl. My mentors didn’t assume I would go less far because I might give birth to a child one day. These influencers were the gender equality ambassadors that made who I am today. They may not know it, but they are the inadvertent feminists who are. And we need more of those.

And if you still hate the word—it is not the word that is important but the idea and the ambition behind it. Because not all women have been afforded the same rights that I have. In fact, statistically, very few have been.

In 1997, Hilary Clinton made a famous speech in Beijing about women’s rights. Sadly many of the things she wanted to change are still a reality today.

But what stood out for me the most was that only 30 per cent of her audience were male. How can we affect change in the world when only half of it is invited or feel welcome to participate in the conversation?

Men—I would like to take this opportunity to extend your formal invitation. Gender equality is your issue too.

Because to date, I’ve seen my father’s role as a parent being valued less by society despite my needing his presence as a child as much as my mother’s.

I’ve seen young men suffering from mental illness unable to ask for help for fear it would make them look less “macho”—in fact in the UK suicide is the biggest killer of men between 20-49 years of age; eclipsing road accidents, cancer and coronary heart disease. I’ve seen men made fragile and insecure by a distorted sense of what constitutes male success. Men don’t have the benefits of equality either.  

We don’t often talk about men being imprisoned by gender stereotypes but I can see that that they are and that when they are free, things will change for women as a natural consequence.

If men don’t have to be aggressive in order to be accepted women won’t feel compelled to be submissive. If men don’t have to control, women won’t have to be controlled.

Both men and women should feel free to be sensitive. Both men and women should feel free to be strong… It is time that we all perceive gender on a spectrum not as two opposing sets of ideals.

If we stop defining each other by what we are not and start defining ourselves by what we are—we can all be freer and this is what HeForShe is about. It’s about freedom. 

I want men to take up this mantle. So their daughters, sisters and mothers can be free from prejudice but also so that their sons have permission to be vulnerable and human too—reclaim those parts of themselves they abandoned and in doing so be a more true and complete version of themselves.

You might be thinking who is this Harry Potter girl? And what is she doing up on stage at the UN. It’s a good question and trust me, I have been asking myself the same thing. I don’t know if I am qualified to be here. All I know is that I care about this problem. And I want to make it better.

And having seen what I’ve seen—and given the chance—I feel it is my duty to say something. English Statesman Edmund Burke said: “All that is needed for the forces of evil to triumph is for enough good men and women to do nothing.”

In my nervousness for this speech and in my moments of doubt I’ve told myself firmly—if not me, who, if not now, when. If you have similar doubts when opportunities are presented to you I hope those words might be helpful.

Because the reality is that if we do nothing it will take 75 years, or for me to be nearly a hundred before women can expect to be paid the same as men for the same work. 15.5 million girls will be married in the next 16 years as children. And at current rates it won’t be until 2086 before all rural African girls will be able to receive a secondary education.

If you believe in equality, you might be one of those inadvertent feminists I spoke of earlier.

And for this I applaud you.

We are struggling for a uniting word but the good news is we have a uniting movement. It is called HeForShe. I am inviting you to step forward, to be seen to speak up, to be the “he” for “she”. And to ask yourself if not me, who? If not now, when?

Thank you.”


13 thoughts on “Gender Equality is Your Issue too! – HeForShe”

  1. This young woman needs a standing ovation. And I hope she received one for this brilliant speech on men’s role in the fight for gender equality.

    As for the threat of releasing nude photographs…this seems to be the only weapon “real men” have these days. Shame the woman into going back into her shell. How dare she overstep her long-established boundaries?

    Yes, I feel there is some hope when I read about women like Emma Watson. Now what would make me feel even better is if young men like Daniel Radcliffe or Rupert Grint took a similar stance and adopted HeForShe. Like Emma, they both played popular characters from arguably the most influential book/film series in history and have the power to influence the way young men and boys think and act. Am I wrong?

    Liked by 4 people

  2. This “Harry Potter girl” had me from when years back she said “Has anyone seen a toad? A boy named Neville has lost one.” And, she has never disappointed since then. She has grown into a remarkable young woman – 24 and storming the UN with the kind of dignity that is so rare, and a cause that is vital.

    Liked by 3 people

  3. She is after-all the cleverest witch , Emma Watson needed no wand, no spells yet she produced a patronus so powerful that the message has went loud and clear:

    “And to ask yourself if not me, who? If not now, when?”

    Such a powerful statement , often we have expressed our anguish, despair and helplessness when we are confronted by gender insensitivity. it hits when one least expects it and sometimes we are so conditioned that we fail to notice how subtly we are bracketed as the “weaker sex”.

    One of the most important aspects of her speech was the stress on removing the shackles of gender and being proud of who we are. It is ok for a boy to cry but it’s not cool to tell him that “boys don’t cry” . Girls should not be reprimanded for “acting like a boy”.

    Feminism has indeed become a dirty word.Why is it so misunderstood as a “male-hating” propaganda, Is it bad if I as a woman feel proud of myself and stake claim on my rightful share of existence, opinions and free will.

    Bravo to this young lady who used this opportunity to not only welcome everyone in this fight for freedom but also reminded us why this freedom from gender inequality is so vital for humanity.

    But what is important ,is we focus on what has been said not the person delivering it nor the ones questioning the system ala DP but the voice that they are universally raising.

    Emma Watson , you have the Dumbledore Army -women and men both together,ready to deliver a powerful Expelliarmus to anyone who tries to use unforgivable curses on you and your kind.

    HeForShe … a small step towards a gigantic goal of uniting the world.

    Liked by 4 people

  4. What an awesome speech … Emma Watson definitely needs a standing ovation …
    “if not me, who, if not now, when…” not many would have the guts to speak so openly about a topic that is so controversial all over the world …

    Just loved this …
    “If men don’t have to be aggressive in order to be accepted women won’t feel compelled to be submissive. If men don’t have to control, women won’t have to be controlled…”

    Liked by 1 person

  5. What a speech , left me speechless for a moment and coerced me to sit and think about this issue seriously.
    I am a firm believer of equal rights for all irrespective of cast, creed, color or gender, so i would applaud this girl for standing up and speaking her mind…

    I agree to her completely…

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Thanks for sharing this article. Haven’t come across it until now. But looking at it as a bigger picture I could at least hope for a change in the society lurking somewhere.

    You’re a brave girl Emma I admire you!


  7. While reading her speech I found myself words like YES! , BILKUL, SO TRUE…. She has nailed it all n so perfectly. Such a young age and her thinking is so awesome I have seen her quotes n all in pinterest and I was so impressed but now I am impressed beyond bpunds. That is what we need. An equality n what was beauty of her speech was that she didn’t just spoke about women she took stand for men who r not allowed to show their emotions openly with fear of being called weak. And she spoke that all in UN. She really is the brightest and bravest witch the character she played was indeed for her n her only. Like Weasly was Gryffindor’s king Watson is her our Queen. Lots of applause for her


  8. Emma Watson deserves that standing ovation, 24 & in the UN with such an insightful speech! It is disturbing to know that some of the responses were akin to what TOI did with Deepika! Most often such global platforms are not effectively used to deliver the right message. To have it done so effectively by such a young person, is amazing! Thanks for bringing this to us Chani.

    We are more familiar with feminism as spoken by the female gender fighting for rights equal to that of males, when actually this perspective that even men can be burdened by this typecasting of men as macho, aggressive, dominating, bread earners, protectors, providers, continuing the progeny…etc, without really realising it or acknowledging it! If they cry, or are soft natured, or cannot get a job they are considered failing in the way men should be!

    Equality can be fought from both perspectives, of course only when men realize they are also losing out on their complete selves & want to fight for it.


  9. oh I didn’t know Emma was threatened for her speech at UN. That’s very irritating. Especially after the Deepika incident. Women who stand up for their rights or for a good cause are always always pushed down. I have experienced this and its a great demoralizing aspect. however i hope things change & he4she concept is one of them! let it succeed in bringing a positive change !!


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