Anne, Eight in the Morning

Do You Do That To The Guys?

Two Academy awards, three SAG awards, three Golden Globes, and three BAFTA’s to name a few of her achievements. Yet, 45 year old Cate Blanchett walked the red carpet this year, stopped when the cameraman indulged in a sweeping and objectifying shot of her, and did this.

She did it because she noticed the men were being ignored (or that it wasn’t even occurring to anyone to capture a sweeping shot of Bradley Cooper and the rest), she did it because it was high time the public pandering media was brought to task on how they objectify women anywhere and everywhere, she did it because it needed to be done. And, she was right to do it.

She took a stand, and I applauded her for it. At the time, I remember thinking how great it would be if more women in Asia began to take such stands, more public figures, more women who had grown tired of this menace called “No matter how ‘modest’ you are, we will find some way to make you seem filthy.”

Case in point.

OMG: Deepika Padukone’s Cleavage Show!

Wow, so was that bit of her skin so newsworthy, because no male actor was photographed where his balls were outlined through his trousers? Or were some of those trousers not stuffed enough with socks that night?

I’m curious.

And, she took a stand. Bravo! It was the rise I’d hoped would happen, the stance long overdue in our society. But…

Yes there always is a ‘but’ because women.

Women don’t like what she said, what she did, how she dresses, talks, walks, appears in public/photoshoots/movies/item songs. Women do not approve of how she reacted to that headline, that shot. Women are feeling like she doesn’t respect herself, that she allowed this to happen in the first place, that she needs to take responsibility, because you know, if a woman doesn’t do that no man will be able to.

Men need us women to teach them stuff like respect, boundaries, restraint, etc.  Clearly it is up to us, clearly we must make more of an effort, clearly we are not doing our duty to society. That Cate and Deepika, what do they know? They’re objects with no self respect.

Let’s vilify them! Let’s strap on a penis and really go to town on their asses, cleavage, morals and what not. They took a step forward? No, no, no, just NO! Let’s shove them ten paces back then scream bloody murder when a teenage girl gets raped because some asshole thought it was okay to rip her ‘immodest’ clothes off and violate her body.

Let’s do that.

P.S. I hear Sonam and her merry band of internet heroines have a sale going on somewhere. Bottled modesty, boxed self-respect, moral ointment, cleavage binds, chastity belts, kneeling mats for dick worship…



19 thoughts on “Do You Do That To The Guys?”

  1. If I could stand up on a table right now and clap , I would. Thank you for writing this , seriously.

    I know this might have been done to death , with multiple open letters thrown around on the infamous forum and on twitter , but the way people tend to deflect the real issue which is “Yellow Journalism and it’s exploitation of women to star rivalries, character assassination, movie and self-respect is hilarious.

    They have called her a publicity hungry, dug her past modelling covers-shots to prove about how she has and still objectifies herself. In all this mayhem what TOI and it’s kind ,seemed to miss is a simple word which is the subject’s consent.

    DP can do a playboy shoot , or we can have a Sunny doing a baby doll, yet they just don’t become an easy fodder to sell a newspaper headlines or twitter RTs.

    Box office success are credited to actors , also is the perception that Male actors remain desirable for longer period then why don’t we have their boner pictures or man-boobs making headlines . Surely they are as or even more desirable than their female counterparts. Why deny us girls the right to stare at the crotch of Ryan Gosling or some other Khan.

    I do get the poor old photographer briefed by his sleezy boss to get every angle of XYZ actress , underwear shot – an Oops caption would do and if she is going commando then viola- Diwali/Eid/X-mas all rolled in one. But I wonder what the “Editor” is thinking while bullying his interns and photographers into getting these shots and caption.

    Am I surprised by the backlash DP is getting ? No , because this is what we do and know , run behind excuses and blame the victim because it is just too hard to stare at the damned mirror and see the ugliness which we have stooped to. Here we will go all awe and Ah at Channing Tatum ( adore him) who has confessed to being a stripper but look down upon a Sunny Leone. One an A-lister , the other shunned by BW and their botoxed stuffy noses.

    What is self-respect, Sonam? Because you clearly said your dad thinks it’s good that you wore a bikini as it will bring more audience. So by your own yardstick- you don’t have any self-respect ? Clearly, it’s the sale season.

    She is a model/actress/housewife/banker/writer

    She has boobs/cleavage/ass

    She wears an underwear and a bra ( sometimes doesn’t)

    Yet , she is not giving her “consent” to media houses and the world to peep a glance at her Vagina or caption her boobs as if the world peace is achieved. If they think it’s their right to print and write whatever then it’s time I demand -” Sid’s boner , SRK’s man boobs.

    Oh and no this is not a feminism rant.

    Anne, applause , love and hugs for this. I so wish somebody post that Cate B picture on the forum and to Sonam . I would love to see the backflip then .

    Liked by 4 people

  2. Yeah I heard Sonam bitched abt it. I couldn’t find what she said just a post in pinkvilla stating she is with Deepika in this issue but I can expect from her tht she would have bitched abt it. The problem here is not men they r women n I just hate it. This discrimination.


  3. What I find even more appalling is that TOI posted a reply to her showing all her swimsuit pics asking if she is a hypocrite? What is bewildering is that they fail to see that she is one) the magazine shoots are also her working ( this is not pics of her at her house which she tweeted and two ) even if she posed naked on a magazine that does not give them a right to show her body parts and make it a headline, like she is asking for it. What they did was point her out like she is some filthy whore. For cleavage to be a headline in shows how frustrated, desperate and pathetic that nation is. If I were them I will hang my head in shame not post a reply.

    What people should stop and realize is that this is this is not some sleazy tabloid which did this. This is a national paper and this is the barometer of their mentality and sentiments. And shockingly they decided to go after her and shame her because she spoke up. This speaks volumes of the mentality of Indian journalism and their ethics. There are women who are at the upper echelons of that publishing and editorial power house and they condoned this, celebrated this and said let’s show this bitch up. They dissected her statement and made a mockery and sent a loud message to the whole world. And said “in India women are responsible for whatever is done to them.” This is a country where there is a rape every minute. Women are worth less than the sacred cow and they as the media has the right to objectify any woman they please. If she wears a swimsuit or flimsy clothes on films then we have the right to circle her breasts, vagina, ass and sell papers. Even if Sunny Leone had this happen to her I would still make the stand. Just because she works in a certain profession does not mean that she should naked pictures of her should be thrown in her face and say look fuck her now!

    India seriously has sunk to a new low and has made a mockery of their so called modernism and intellect. Time and time again they prove that to be born a woman is the worst thing that can happen to you. I say this not only going by the article but by the so called intellectuals by all those who are supporting it.99% of them are women and other popular women like Shobha De ( a f*****g idiotic bitch in my opinion who tried very hard to be Jackie Collins) and Sonam Kapoor who commented that if you respect yourself this wouldn’t happen.I suppose a nun who gets raped is immodest and non self respecting as well. Sonam is a dimwitted jealous c**t in my opinion and should be banned from public speaking. But I am sure more and more celebrities will come out and be non committal and pick holes in this argument and successfully drag their own selves and the women who adore them eons.

    Sadly only a few would really understand what women like Cate and Deepika tried to do, they don’t realize that they are so entrenched in their own slavery to know that they don’t even know they are slaves.

    Liked by 9 people

  4. You made a valid point here Anne and Chani. I knew Deepika’s statement would be discussed here and I was waiting for the post. And you are right – after Deepika’s statement – few of my male friends admired and respected her stand while few of my female friends were aghast for her guts. I take it as jealousy on their side because they cant be brutally honest with themselves or appreciate someone having that strong sense of self respect

    Liked by 3 people

  5. “India seriously has sunk to a new low and has made a mockery of their so called modernism and intellect.”
    You are absolutely correct, Chani. Coming from the country’s so-called “leading newspaper” this comment is shocking, to say the least. And to devote an entire article to a woman’s cleavage? In the Sunday edition? Obviously in the eyes of the esteemed editors of TOI, women in India have no important issues troubling them, nothing that threatens the very existence of the gender in thousands of small towns and villages across the country.
    As for Sonam, how else does one get public attention? When your look at Cannes is ridiculed, when your movies flop, when your behavior at parties is laughed at, you have to find some way to cling to your belief about your own superiority, don’t you?
    When we have females like this, who needs men to violate women?

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Well what can I say. Am speechless Anne. I think some policy are just simply jealous of Deepika, I mean she is smart,successfully n not forgetting beautifully. And all those women talking bad any her stand are simply envious of her. Half ofage the girls who are of her age wish to have her life.

    Sonam needs to grow up.

    Am glad you shared this Anne.


  7. Anne- I see what you’re saying, but I think many of us are just desensitized to this stuff b/c it happens all the time! The way a person dresses does not give anyone a right to physically assault them and no she isn’t asking to be assaulted. However on the flip-side, if she is in the limelight then she is going to be photographed whether she like it or not! She can’t pick and choose which photographs can be published when she is a star! If that were possible TMZ, OK Mag, US Weekly, People, and many others would be out of business! It is a publications goal to sell newspapers/magazines and so anything that causes controversy will be included. If they alter the image before posting it then it’s an issue.

    On red carpets I’ve seen them do slow sweeping shots of certain men as well! It’s not as frequent as it is with the women, but then again the ppl behind the camera are likely male!😳 Tabloids have pics of men half-clothed all the time and after Magic Mike, which I still haven’t watched, we’ve seen so many slow scrolls of Channing Tatum and no one has any complaints about us objectifying him! For months he’d appear on talk shows and the like in boxers or next to nothing and yes we could see the outlines of his package, but again there were no complaints from the general population about objectifying him. We could also argue the fact that a slow scroll on the red carpet is just to capture a woman’s gown, top to bottom b/c women like me only tune in to the red carpet shows to see the designer gowns that the stars are wearing. 😀

    From what I’ve read, this actress is upset about someone taking a shots of her cleavage, but she has to expect that when she is in the limelight! When you’re in the public eye you’re going to have flattering and less-than-flattering pics taken/posted of you! Wonder how she would feel about someone photographing her cellulite (which happens a lot with Hollywood stars), if she even has any!? If pics are altered and then posted, I’d say she has reason to ask the media to cease and desist, but since that’s not the case I don’t think anything will change!

    Unfortunately, we as a society sexualize these people due to their character portrayals and/or pics that they’ve freely taken for ppl to see! Is it right!? Maybe not, but is it going to continue!? Undoubtedly!


    PS Hope all is well

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I agree with people in focus being brought into the limelight as is done with public figures all the time. However, I think the issue here is not so much the actress having a problem with the type of shot which was taken but more with the headline itself. A leading national newspaper resorting to the objectification of a woman to sell? I don’t see how that is 1) Newsworthy enough and 2) Even a consideration for them. – They cannot on the one hand proclaim themselves to be “reporting news” or “leading” if the result is “OMG This Woman’s Cleavage Show” and then circling the area on her photograph. That is crass and lacks every kind of ethic since they are basically telling everyone out there it is OK to do this to women. I don’t agree a woman has to accept being objectified, not when she is selling much more than just sex. She is an actress and its an honest profession. The problem is that it doesn’t stop there and we all know it. It’s not just female celebs. Regular girls wearing a top considered immodest have their reputations ruined because the world goes “OMG look at her” – So for a so called journalistic publication to facilitate that mentality and actually proclaim it IS their mentality is what is completely wrong here.

      All well. How did the Bears do?

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Oopsy, I didnt read the headline!😳 Just read the comments she made via a different posting and wondered why a pic of her cleavage was causing such an uproar! I agree that women don’t have to be objectified and have a right not to be, but in the same sense when you take racy pics for endorsements and put yourself out there on various platforms, what is considered too much and who decides!?

        If this were Kim Kardashian then I’d be 100% sure she was full of hot air, but I’m not too familiar w/ Deepika except for pics I’ve seen of her and some songs/videos she’s been in! I think the TOI headline was unnecessary, but a publication posting a picture is fair game when you’re a celebrity, at least that’s how most tabloids see it. It may be in poor taste, not what I’d call newsworthy, and more to the standards of In Touch or OK magazine, but TOI will need to deal with any fall-out and answer to their readers!

        Also on a different note, there should definitely be a fine line b/w women who are in the public eye and women like you or me! I just took my pre-teen niece to buy her first bikini over the weekend and its this cute lime green one with purple polka dots! We both loved the bikini and so I bought it for her (with her parents permission), but I didn’t even consider the possibility of anyone objectifying her when she finally wears it! It’s unnerving to think that anyone could or would!😳

        Sadly, we live in a world where everything is objectified and TOI just reminded us of that!


        P.S. It was a nail-biter last night, but the Bears hung in there for the win!!! 😊


        1. Just because a woman is in the limelight and has taken racy pictures does not mean that every time she steps out of the house a picture of her should be taken and printed on a paper with the caption OMG look at her she is that woman who posed naked. Now go look at her bits some more.

          The objection is not the fact that they put the picture its the fact that they made a caption about it. Her objection was for the caption.

          Now if we take an example of a bikini. Say you bought one and you wear one to a pool party or the beach and your friends see you and admire you. You take pics with your friends and have a great time. Now the next day you wear a top low neckline and pose for some pictures and your boobs are exposed and immediately your friends take that picture and post it on FB or twitter and sends it around to everyone you know with a tag OMG look at her she boobs… take a good look !!!… are you going to reconcile yourself to the fact you wore a bikini and pranced around the other day so it is okay for them to do that?… in fact you asked for it.. you shouldn’t have worn the bikini in the first place and you shouldn’t have worn the low neck top? Are you going to loathe yourself for being so shameless and having invited this trouble on yourself?

          This argument is about the right of EVERY woman not to be objectified and cheapened. This is not about just acting and modeling.. this is about everyday life. Rapists get away with the slogan she was asking for it. No woman is asking for it regardless of what they wear.Even if a woman walks down the road stark naked she is not asking for it. Even if you are a prostitute who sells her body for money.. still she is STILL not asking for it.

          There is a difference.

          Liked by 1 person

          1. Like I said previously, I was not aware of the headlines or captions and based my opinions on a different article that brushed over everything and used part of her comments! It’s understandable that that a headline about your cleavage or circling it is a bit crass. Definitely below the standards of GOOD journalism!

            Again, this debate is decades old and as you can see by tabloid circulation numbers nothing has changed or likely ever will. Does it mean that it’s right!? No, not at all, but we see it and deal with it everyday so most of us have become completely desensitized when it comes to celebrities. As far as your everyday avg person, it’s actually punishable by law to take n post pics n videos of non-celebrity women w/o their consent! Case-in-Point, the Girls Gone Wild Franchise!

            About the bikini scenario, you’re comparing the paparazzi to friends which can’t be done b/c they’re 2 different breeds! I’ve had a friend post pics of me from a recent weekend in Dallas and you could clearly see my bra in one of the pics, but quickly took it down as soon as I pointed it out! On the flip-side, the photogs are looking for scandalous pics like these of celebrities since those make them the most money! Is it morally right!? Nope! However, the law won’t step in unless it causes someone harm or irreparable damage and the law makes this determination.

            Also, rapists don’t just target people who dress a certain way and unless a woman completely consents, she was never asking for it! Even with racy pics or pics of someone covered from head-to-toe, it’s not an invitation to rapists! Rapists are a sick breed and thank God the law throws the book at the ones brought to justice! If I had my way, castration would be my personal choice for these animals.

            I still say that if you’re a celebrity you should be prepared for the paparazzi and know that when you’re in public, you will be photographed from every angle! I don’t think its right, but it’s reality and you have to be prepared! They will be anywhere n everywhere, even lurking in bushes. It’s a crazy world we live in where TMZ has bus tours to show you exactly where a celebrity lives and the places they hang out!😳 When you’re a celebrity, privacy is basically non-existent unless your behind closed doors and even then you still never know!😳



            1. I get your point.

              Actresses should just wear pillow cases on their heads or better a mask and act and model ( because they are sluts anyway that’s why they deserve it.) Then when they go out no one will know who they are and they can dress as they please, just like you and me.

              Deepika and other celebrities who are posing and dressing like this deserve to be photographed with their body parts made into headlines and if they still don’t get the message then they deserve to be raped or killed. I guess Princess Diana was one sorry sod. She should have known better and never to stepped out of the house and show her face knowing that the paparazzi was waiting for a pic. She should have been prepared. WTF was she thinking??


              1. Not sure if you’re choosing to purposely misunderstand me or why you’re putting words in my mouth, but an actress or model is not a slut nor did I happen to say she/he was.

                Let me just put this in layman’s terms for you. A public figure (whether it’s a politician, model, actress, sports figure or musician) is newsworthy whether they are covered from head-to-toe or in a bikini! There are going to be pics taken of them regardless of what our views are and most celebrities know it and have come to terms with it! Yes, in order to avoid unwanted attention many do frequently go out in disguise so they can blend in and go about their business. However, a mask or a bag over the head would just draw more unnecessary attention which would defeat the purpose so that’s not a valid option.

                As far as the rape comment, it has nothing to do with the paparazzi and I definitely didn’t expect you to infer that anyone should be raped from my comment! If someone is mentally unstable then they don’t need the paparazzi’s help in making vile decisions! A person’s mode of dress is not the reason these vile creatures attack people! Fully clothed joggers get assaulted, mothers in NYC who happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time get assaulted, and even the elderly patients in nursing homes get assaulted. All of it is stomach-turning, but none of it relates to the paparazzi or legally snapped pics of celebrities!

                Also, no one ever said the Paparazzi didn’t cross limits b/c they definitely do! To chase someone in a vehicle, trespass on private property, and to cause accidents are all morally and legally wrong. Just like the average citizen, if these photogs turn into stalker-azzi then they should suffer the consequences! I actually think the law isn’t strict enough when it comes to some of these out-of-control photogs!

                And lastly, people can dress however they want and it shouldn’t be an issue. However celebrities will continue to make the tabloids for every little thing and a majority are aware of it! Whether it’s too much make-up or too little make-up, a few extra lbs or an anorexic-looking body, a bad choice in clothing or a fabulous choice…all of it is out there for people to view whether we agree or not!


  8. Journalism is not what it is supposed to be in India anymore.

    I hate how Sonam Kapoor is being given the kind of importance she is getting. I dont care what movie she does, or who she acts with, but I will never watch a movie that has Sonam Kapoor in it. This is my decision as a woman. Because you know…. her stupidity is provoking me to objectify her as a dimwit.

    I stand by Deepika’s right to wear whatever she wants to and wherever she wants to. She deserves every success she has today because she has earned it on her own merit. She is proof that Nepotism is a myth in Bollywood and you can only succeed if you are willing to work hard for it. I agree with everyone else in here who believes that there are a group of people who are truly jealous of Deepika Padukone.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Funny how on a day when people were applauding Emma Watson’s speech on gender equality , Telegraph, instead of using her picture from the event preferred to gloss over with a more sexier version.

    It’s not just an India or any other country, unfortunately women have been used for sensationalization of news for a long time by everyone, this incident might be the first time a national daily in India has been caught and accused of doing this.

    Rather than concentrating on the problem of tabloidization of their mainstream newspaper , TOI took to moral policing DP, which made matters worse.
    The issue is not DP or her cleavage but TOI and it’s journalism .

    It’s about TOI reducing itself to the pits and joining the ranks of sleezy tabloids who flash panty shots of actresses and sell it with a tacky headline? This when our society prefers to throw tradition, culture and the likes for women. Hypocrisy at it’s best.

    Consent determines what is too much.

    As a public figure she might have paparazzi as part of her job description but nowhere she signs off all the rights from her body and dignity.

    If Beyonce can filter out her photos which are released in press , then why cannot DP have a right to question the use of her photo in such a derogatory manner.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Knew you would bring this up for discussion here! My initial reaction when it was first aired was just the chutzpah in her answer! The TOI sucked in airing that kind of headline & went down under with their rejoinder!

    It is sad that objectification of women is common fare…we see it all around us, in our ads, the movies, the looks, the gropes, the innuendos! We see its manifestation in the rules laid out by society on the dress, the behaviour, the company, the profession, the timings, the event. The irony is that it is a piece of crass journalism justified by a reputed english daily which eulogises women empowerment & all that it stands for! Normally this is the domain of tabloids, most politicians, restricted mindsets across society! And to top it they have supporters…some from renowned female personalities! Otherwise, this entire episode just reiterates the fact that the path to women empowerment or equality is rough & tough, but we are getting there…it will take time!

    As for DP, as stated by Mehr Tarar, she has always carried off any style with confidence, grace & elegance…that is DP! Qusoor nazr mein hain!

    Liked by 1 person

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