Anne, Pillow Talk

Pillow Talk: Episode Two

Note: Soon after Episode One of Pillow Talk, it was suggested to the author that the characters “Him” and “Her” needed to be named. However, after not much thought at all, the author (who has no idea why she keeps referring to herself in the third person) lost all patience in “finding the perfect names” and turned to her best friendly fellow writer for suggestions. A name for “Him” was shot back instantly. The name for “Her” took a little more tongue-in-cheek back and forth, but that lasted exactly 31 seconds.

So, welcome to the slightly improved revised Pillow Talk, featuring the same two pro-an-tagonists, hereby christened Duke and Missy.


It is a peaceful summer-like evening in the middle of… summer. It is dinner time, and Missy and Duke are out at a fast food place with their recently mutated pair of goldfish – sharing hot dogs, burgers and southern fried chicken between them.

Since the goldfish are too busy eating and discussing a multitude of subjects far too advanced for adult contribution, or interference, some pillow talk eventually ensues across the table between Missy and Duke.

Duke: If I say something in a normal voice right now, and keep a perfectly straight face when I say it, would you be offended by what I say?

Missy: That depends. Is what you say going to be offensive?

Duke: I don’t think it is.

Missy: What is it then?

Duke: I’d like to have a bite of your breast.

Missy: Offensive!

Duke: Really?

Missy: Yes. Also, that’s a distasteful thing to say in present company, also, completely inappropriate. Also, you’re annoying.

Duke: You asked me to say it.

Missy: Annoying. Did you not notice the female adolescent goldfish sitting next to me? Or the male one sitting next to you? What if they’d heard you? What of their innocence? Why must I have so much tragedy in my dinner experience when all you really want is southern fried chicken?

Duke: Alright. It was wrong. Let me rephrase that. May I have a bite of your chicken breast, please?

Missy: Sure. Would you also like some of this hotdog?

Duke: No thanks.

Missy: Wait a sec. Are you surrrrre you don’t want a bite of this more-than-six-inch delicious wiener?

Duke: I’m su… Seriously? So, it’s perfectly fine when you…

Missy: Look at your face, you’re dying to laugh. I know you are.

Duke: In your dreams.

Missy: Is that why you’re trying so hard not to smile?

Duke: I’m not trying not to smile.

Missy: Right, because you’re really smiling now. Oh my God, you are actually smiling at my killer comeback! I never thought this day would come.

Duke: Fine, so the day has come. I’m smiling.

Missy: I gotcha. I should gloat, I should go “eeeeee” but I won’t. Would you like a bit of bird?

Duke: Sure, go ahead. Flip me the bird. You know you want to.

Missy: Of course I will flip you the flippin bird. You thought I’d let it go at wiener?

Duke: Your love for hammering in the last nail in a coffin is genuinely terrifying.

Missy: That shouldn’t surprise you. Have you never noticed how most of our conversations either end with me saying “Checkmate” or you saying “Touché?”

Duke: I do not say Touché.

Missy: But, you think it.

Duke: No, I don’t.

Missy: You totally do.

Duke: You imagine I’m thinking it.

Me: Okay. So, what are you thinking right now?

Duke: Touché.

Missy: Exactly. So, checkmate.


©Anne J. Dias – 2014


Read more Pillow Talk episodes here.


22 thoughts on “Pillow Talk: Episode Two”

  1. very concerned about underage miss and mister golden fish:)) ,themselves presented more mature than their owner:)) and i love that note from the beginning! yes,we are in the middle of a hot,sunny day of…summer and your post is like a fresh cold breeze.thank you!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Oh God, I am laughing and totally making a little scene here, if someone comes to check on me , I am so going to blame the wiener.

    I’d like to have a bite of your breast. – This is such a good line. like real good!!

    But Missy is so bloody brilliant, that more-than-six-inch delicious wiener – Ace, biggest smile ever!!

    This is the cutest conversation ever.

    Adore and love Missy while total mad respect for Duke .

    Thanks for bringing happiness and laugh so early in the day here, Anne.

    I love Pillow talk!!


    Liked by 2 people

  3. OK, so I am likely laughing like a mad woman here while my other half( better or not, lets not discuss that) is sitting right next to me watching Orange is the new black. He is really touchy when he is watching that so does not want any kind of distractions and here thanks to Missy I am cracking up like mad!
    Duke saer hai tu Missy sawa saer hai!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I just read him the conversation and uff! i wish i could show you his expression, he had to hold back is laugh for about a minute till he burst out. ha!

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Hehehe he that was hilarious Anne, I was at b was at breakfast and I hear a email alert I check it an find ur email. I read it and burst out laughing n the whole table just stares at me. N i couldn’t even share.

    Thanks for sharing this early morning.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Duke: If I say something in a normal voice right now, and
    keep a perfectly straight face when I say it, would you be
    offended by what I say?

    And I was sure like hell tht it IS something offensive actually but used as double meaning talk lol… female n male adolescent goldfish awesome reference names loved it.

    Thank u for writing n sharing such hilarious post. Missy won “checkmate” Tochè

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Hey im late n reading as joined the blog just yest …. But ths was totally hilarious …. Need to make him read 2 …. Truly enjoying reading the diff updates on ths blog … Never thot it would be so much fun …
    The ones ive read so far are a mix of fun informative n some truly eyeopeners 2


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