ZOMG it’s here! Stop doing everything. Don’t talk, don’t breathe, don’t go to the bathroom, don’t bite your lip! Just watch it, watch it now, faster, harder…
Oh never mind. It.is.HERE!!!!!!!!
See? Now all the fans can’t kill me for not being enthusiastic.
Things that jumped out at me in the trailer:
* Beyonce’s Crazy in Love is a nice kind of different.
* The entire grey office-with-a-view thing is badly ripped off from the movie 91/2 weeks. (But, then so is most of the original story by E.L James.)
* The shot of Christian’s fingers drumming on the desk is worthy of some attention. – I said SOME.
* If they were going for “awkward” with Ana’s overall appearance, they succeeded, but there wasn’t any need to take it so damn far.
* Christian Grey looked about 17 years old to me.
* The gratuitous blindfold scene glimpse we were given wasn’t very appealing. If you want the dead on “Uh oh, wtf did I sign myself up for with this billionaire?” look done right, watch how Kim Basinger accomplished it in 91/2 Weeks.
* The piano was big, but, Richard Gere didn’t didn’t let us even notice a piano was there, did he?
* The movie hits theatres on Valentine’s Day 2015. I don’t know if that’s Hollywood’s gift to the global Lonely Hearts Club, or for husbands tired of always having to buy flowers and candy. It could be both.
Will I watch the movie?
Will I write a review?
Just try and stop me.