Anne, Eight in the Morning

Top 10 Pieces of Advice For 20 Somethings

What are the top ten pieces of advice you would give a 20 something girl?

The above question was put to me recently (and, as you’ve probably guessed,) by a bunch of 20 something females who obviously thought I was around 75 years old or something. I have to say it almost caused me a moment of panic, because out of nowhere a voice began screaming in my head:

“THE ANTI-WRINKLE EYE CREAM FOR THIRTY SOMETHINGS IS NOT WORKING!”

However, since I was on my third (and pretty lethal) margarita (one part margarita mix, three parts tequila, some crushed ice – in case you were wondering,) I was able to ignore the voice, and I turned my attention to this group of three lovely girls. They were looking at me in a way my dog used to when he spotted me going into the kitchen, and it broke my heart.

Also, I thought, they were sweet to think I was guru enough to have a top ten list for them ready in my head. Margaritas and flattery can be pretty cool. At least they weren’t expecting me to ‘put out’ in other ways because they had subtly suggested I was awesome.

But, a party is no time to have deep and meaningful conversations about life. It is also not a time to dole out advice unless the advice is alcohol related.

So, that brings me to my top ten list, which of course I did not share with those girls at the party, but told them to drop by here to read because I would be sharing it with you even when you didn’t ask me to.

My Top Ten Pieces of Advice to 20 Something (Single) Females

10. Have Fun

First of all, when you are at a party, do not ask older women for advice on love, life, your recent breakup issues, etc. Seriously! You are at a party, there is music, there are drinks, and most importantly, there are PEOPLE there. Talk, mingle, dance, have fun, exchange phone numbers with aย  few someones you think are hot, make a lunch date, ENJOY YOURSELF. Save your “Oh what is to become of my life without advice?” girly talks for Girl’s night in sob fests featuring ice-cream.

9. Don’t Hold Back

You are not defined by your words, but your actions (that is pretty much also a lesson for life in general), and the time for that is now. There is no better time to act than when you are in your twenties. The world is literally right there waiting for you to just get on with it, do your thing, do countless things. Stop saying “I want to,” and actually do it. Worrying, wondering, analyzing, well… you’ll be older one day and thinking all that crap much more than you’d like to, so don’t stress too much on it now.

8. Changing Your Mind is Not a Sin

It is okay to do this. It is okay to do this often. You are young, and there is no hard and fast rule that once you decide on something you have to see it through to the end even if it makes you miserable. If you want to switch careers, do it, if you want to end a relationship, end it, if you want to move back home because you need to re-coup before you get back out there, that’s fine. But, try and understand why you’re doing it, and try harder to make the new decision you make, work.

7. Mistakes are Par for the Course

Make them, learn from them, make them again in a moment of weakness. Cry, gnash your teeth at your impulsive, wasteful self, then make another mistake, wait another year and make several more in quick succession. Fall, tumble, break a bone. Mistakes are a very important nutrient.

6. Your Parents are not Old-Fashioned, Misinformed Idiots

So, you’re on a different wavelength from them. You consider yourself more educated than that entire generation and their uncle, more aware of the world. You can simultaneously Whatsapp and Viber while your mom and dad embarrassingly think Facebook IS the internet. But, it is not poor you having to deal with their stone age opinions and advice about your life.

Really, they are mostly coming from a place of wisdom despite the annoying way they have of showing it. They did not raise you and your siblings without any problems of their own, any obstacles. You and your siblings were not all just perfect precious angels sent down directly from the heavens to give some poor couple endless joy. Raising you was not like rolling in a bed of roses with no thorns and just lots of candy floss, okay?

Your parents loved, lived, ARE STILL LIVING even if you think they’re half dead anyway and are all like what do they know about anything!?! They have struggled, wept, bled, made mistakes, and you know what else? They’re still struggling, because they still have to deal with your annoying life problems sometimes, or worry endlessly about your soul.

Parents know shit! There is usually a nugget worth its weight in gold whenever your parent speaks to you about your life. Trust me when I say this. Listen for it.

5. You Can Fall in Love More Than Once in This Lifetime

Shocker right? Well, it’s true. Heartbreak happens, sometimes you’ll have yours broken, sometimes it’s the other way around, and sometimes love just doesn’t equal compatibility no matter how hard you try. But, it doesn’t all end there for you, you do not need to crawl into a hole and die, neither do your chances end, and nor should your hopes be vanquished.

4. Enjoy Dating

It’s fun to get to know people, like them enough to get to know them some more, find out what you have in common with them and all that. As long as you know that every person you date is not going to end up saying “I do” to you, and neither are they required to. It’s really not about “kissing a lot of frogs before you meet your prince” and all that bullshit. It’s about learning more how you relate to different kinds of people, situations, finding out what you like or don’t like, want in a relationship or don’t want. Don’t rob yourself of those chances to get to know what’s inside you.

3. Your Sexuality Belongs to You

And, who you choose to share it with, and how, is your business. If you want to wait for that special someone, your business, if you want to be adventurous with more than one partner, also your business. Either way is fine, but for both be smart, be safe, and be sure it’s what you want to do, not what’s expected of you.

2. The World Does Not Owe You

Seriously. It doesn’t owe you shit, so if you’re expecting it to keep dropping favours in your lap, stop now. And, stop blaming the world for not giving you a break. It doesn’t need to give you a break, it wasn’t exactly designed to give you any breaks, and it isn’t there to serve your personal desires. If something in your life is messed up, first ask yourself what you did to mess it up, then look outward. Most times you probably won’t have to, most times it’s not her fault or his fault or this interference or that blah blah blah. It’s your choices (and no, no one was holding a gun to your head), so accept that, own your shit and move on. You want something, then go out and work to get it just like everyone else does.

1. Attitude is Everything

Bad things are going to happen to you, and even good things. And, in your own way you’re going to chalk those up as experiences which is fine. But, the one thing I can say about those experiences is this: They will not be the only ones you have, and keeping the bad ones in the forefront constantly will stop you from having more and possibly richer experiences in your life.

Those experiences may be valuable to you someday, but not always, and you most likely won’t even consider them to be major experiences in about ten years from now. So, don’t waste too much time over them, or too much energy being upset or pissed off that they happened. – They did, nothing can change that, and you whining over it won’t win you more than temporary sympathy.

Be positive, smile, put your best foot forward during the start of your journey into true adulthood, and embrace one of the best decades you will ever have. Believe me, you will never regret it if you do.

Thank you for dropping by the blog. Hope you all are doing well, and I hope to see you again soon.

Much love,

Anne

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33 thoughts on “Top 10 Pieces of Advice For 20 Somethings”

  1. My god Anne!! The comparison you wrote for the look which the girls gave you made me go ROFLโ€ฆ
    But, a party is no time to have deep and meaningful conversations about life. It is also not a time to dole out advice unless the advice is alcohol related. — Very true!
    Very realistic, honest and true pointers Anne. Loved all the points. Some made me laugh, some made me think, some made me smile agreeing to it..Recently I had been thinking and I felt great when I realized that I really lived, celebrated my twenties and enjoyed each moment of it. Of course, the ups and downs taught me lot of things, experienced and faced lot of situations. If you take a stock of all that, I feel proud of myself for living it and for not holding back. Your point 9 made me really proud. I could say I did many things (still doing ;-)) Point 6 really touched me, made me a bit emotional too. Thank you Anne for sharing your thoughts. Always itโ€™s a great pleasure to read and feel you through your words.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. If I can virtually rip this off and plaster on my head , i would do so. Mixed feelings really- those 20 something lovelies get to party with you while we poor 20ish birds get to make do with visuals of margarita and an Anne Salsa . Anyways, girls , women and world , this was some real advice which we tend to ignore and never value. This is gold, invest for lifetime.

    Having Fun – Yes please ,as an overworked workaholic , I can vouch that nothing works best but a fun bout ,to spur up the spirit . Dance, yoga, reading whatever is your poison grab it and spot that smile ever so often.

    Don’t hold back – Go back to your teens and think about all those “I will” , “I want to” lists your young minds made for things you would do in your 20s . Well, think the day is here, so whats stopping. Do it. Don’t let procrastination, doubts creep up to what you really want to do. Nothing holds you back but yourself. You have the wings, just gather the courage to make that proverbial jump.

    Changing minds is not sin – Yeah well whether its down to the black or red dress. Or a career change. Just have faith in yourself and remember like Anne , realize the reason behind your switch .

    Mistakes – Well if a kid after a little stumble can shake the dust off and move ahead, alibeit few tears. Then surely the road is not closed for us either. Learn from them, make them until you get what you want. Crib, cry , eat the whole Ice-cream bowl but don’t let the fear of mistakes stop you.

    Parents – Well although i am lucky to be blessed with sort of sane family who might not keep up with tech troubles, they more than make up by stating the truth about life, me and just general. They are home for a reason. We might differ on things but that is normal. They give you a different perspective towards life. Respect it , coz as much as we like to think, we are not always right, neither are they. But appreciation of their concern and love would go a long way.

    Love – Well I keep on finding new things to love each day. Guess it would work with guys too. Don’t deny it again,just because you have had that one epic love in your teens .

    Dating – Well , Anne got it covered. It doesn’t have to lead into a relationships but its interesting to see what appeals to us and this gives a chance to look beyond the superficiality. You tend to recognize more about yourself too.

    Sexuality – It’s yours and nobody has a right to tag it. Show the middle finger, generously.

    World doesn’t own you – True, As much as we like to blame it. The world would just smirk and move on. If we don’t want the world to define us or mold us then it has to be us who has to take the accountability for our actions and life. Good or bad, the “I” needs to stand up.

    Attitude is everything – Three words which sum it all. Believe in it.

    Phew, Queen A – Thank you for reintroducing life lessons to us. It’s good to get these from time to time. Btw anti-aging cream is a waste on you, this spirit comes with everlasting youth , don;t need Olay to credit your magic.

    Love and hugs , my beautiful.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. i have a son,18,and your thoughts for sure will be used for a mom-son useful talk,very soon.but where was you when I was on 18?!:)
    on ’80,on a communist country ,where we barely had 2 hour on tv,and the other alternatives was church or (my favorite) library ,the idea of”be what you feel” was too much sort of SF!and raising with a single parent wasn’t help either…if i will find a time machine…..
    thank you for touching the role of the parents,that was true.i’m feeling that now

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Omg. Okay so what if you’re 30 something. Woman your were too mature for it. and yes that’s a compliment. Cause honestly I’m one of those Girls who get this mature kinda compliment from others that 20 something years old think differently thn me. In other words I can a have a old is gold kinda talk with people but at the same time have teengerish talk or that young adult talk. Okay I’m not complimenting myself but that’s how throughout the years I have observe myself. Okay please tell me I’m not the only one who is going thru this super weird split personality phase.
    I do agree with some of your tips. Lol they were fun to read lol. You know these 20 something advices also remind me of this known golden age. Cuz in 20s you will be finishing university or college. It’s also the time you ll begin your career(I’m still struggling with Uni and career. One didn’t end and one didn’t start yet) you probably fall in love and settle. Have babies? In later 20s. I guess. And ya. Major life goals that we make are meant in a way to be achieve in 20s. So it is I guess one of the stressful age phase. But again later on they may get even more worst. Anne I strongly agree with your advice on parents knowing better and that’s so true. Most of the times they talk from experience but often times our teenage hormones makes us one of arrogant ones. I can’t imagine going through what my parents went through to up till now. I mean it get scared of thunder storms and whenever we have one. I Soemtimes ran to my parents room. And yes I’m 21 years old. ๐Ÿ˜ณ
    Thanks for sharing.
    Neaha.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Terrific Anne! I agree with Genie, me too would like to paste this. This golden advice came at the right moment for me. On the odd side of 25, I was feeling a bit low but now I’m going to live my twenties to the fullest, cool ๐Ÿ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I always love the topics you pick it’s always an interesting discussion.If i were to give advice I would stress on point 2. These days when i speak to a 20 something female what I get slammed with is ME! ME! ME! for everything and I want to ask each time ( after i tell them to shut the fuck up) who died and made you the Princess of the world?

    You have been given a life and free will, live it! Stop complaining about everything and whining that the world doesn’t serve you naked chained to your fucking bed. Stop hiding behind technology for everything and be pseudo warriors who champion everything under the sun but stand up for nothing. If you believe in something stick your neck out and go do something.. do something real. You might succeed or fail but at least you tried.

    I think 20’s is a time for self discovery. It’s for you to find out who YOU are! Take chances, experiment, fail, pick yourself up again ,explore , change and for the love of god get off your ass and live.

    Liked by 2 people

  7. You know what I want to do right now I want to give u a tight hug for these n I wish I could make my sisters read this piece really they need these advices alot!
    I will b back with more after some time but for now I want to confess something. When I first learned that u r married n have three kids I was surprised coz I thought u r in early twenties idk why but this was ur image in my eyes.
    Parents know shit! There is usually a nugget worth its weight in gold whenever your parent speaks to you about your life. Trust me when I say this. Listen for it.

    Totally agree

    Ps will b back soon

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Oh Boy, am I glad I stopped over to check out whats new here.

    I absolutely agree with every advice of yours, not just to a 20 something, but most of them also apply to any person, of whatever age.

    I really strongly believe in the “Make mistakes and learn from it” lesson, and I would like to add, never regret making one, because those mistakes, even if big ones, will add to a very very important life lesson, and if you regret learning that, than you havent learnt at all. I have made some horrible mistakes, and despite saying the above, I do regret sometimes, in this words – I should have done this, I might have been lucky enough to… etc etc. But the truth is, its done, I did that, I made that mistake. Accepting it and moving on is important, and most of all learning from it. ๐Ÿ™‚ Sorry got a little nostalgic here ๐Ÿ˜›

    Its been a while since I had a “Anne” dose in my life, and I am loving it. I am glad some twenty something girls at a party asked for these advices, we learnt from it too, even though I am very soon going to cross the line of being “twenty” something, LOL.
    And believe me, when you have so much wisdom and heart for such lovely advices, you dont need a “thirty something” wrinkle cream to work to show us how lovely you are from inside.

    Love,
    Pankti

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Frankly my dear, this advice is not half bad for someone who is thirty something too and #1 sums it up for me. It’s about what attitude you live life with and it’s truely about living in the present moment to the fullest because past you can not change and future is not here yet and success is not letting the mistakes of the past and fear of the future overshadow the present.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. This is something my hands are itching to share any and everywhere. Every girl should read it be it twenty something or thirty something.

    10. Have Fun

    Save your โ€œOh what is to become of my life
    without advice?

    tht is something I would love to grill in their minds n it is sumthing tht doesn’t depend just on age I have seen so many people who r mature of age always just worrying abt this.

    9. Donโ€™t Hold Back

    You are not defined by your words, but your actions (that is
    pretty much also a lesson for life in general)

    true no doubt

    Stop saying โ€œI want to,โ€ and actually do
    it .

    its something I do ALOT. But the problem mostly is my elders my sisters to be specific. They love me n given me enough freedom but at da same time they do shoe dislikes towards somethings I do.

    8. Changing Your Mind is Not a Sin

    It is okay to do this. It is okay to do this often.

    lol n I do just tht. lol I change my decisions so much tht it irritates my family lol

    7. Mistakes are Par for the Course

    so true if u r afraid of making mistakes u can’t learn and if one decision has turned out to be wrong never regret it for life long time. its what I do almost always

    6. Your Parents are not Old-Fashioned, Misinformed Idiots

    while your mom
    and dad embarrassingly think Facebook IS the internet.

    my mom dad are too simple tht they don’t even use FB though they have accounts. lol but they do know everything abt viber n all ok so the main point of this one. Totally agree to wgat u said that they have experience n what they say n advice are always worthy to listen n walk on I have seen it so many times na.

    They have struggled, wept,
    bled, made mistakes, and you know what else? Theyโ€™re still
    struggling, because they still have to deal with your
    annoying life problems sometimes, or worry endlessly
    about your soul.

    so true so damn true.

    5. You Can Fall in Love More Than Once in This Lifetime

    Still waiting for the first one lol EAGERLY

    but again I have seen my frnds worrying,crying n dying from one unsuccessful love. I m like when that son of a bitch doesn’t give a damn to you n your true love y r u? its not worth it. He doesn’t worth it. No matter how hard u try he will not come back coz if he was to come back he hadn’t gone at first place.

    3. Your Sexuality Belongs to You

    Totally agree again. Everything is in ones own hands.

    2. The World Does Not Owe You

    Now this is something I can give a long lecture on coz I have first hand experience in its receiving end. This again doesn’t depend on ur age but ur maturity level. Seriously Anne u know I hate people doing blame game ” my life is destroyed becoz he did this or she did that or they said this or they said that” its always other people’s fault. Never even once they will stop to think that its not always a one side job its both sides. They r not bound to give u favors or back out for u to win they have their life goals u have urs. I just hate it

    and for the last point how I wish u were in front of me n I can hug u tight. if we just keep ugly memories close how can we cherish good ones and how can we make new ones its just unimaginable. ugly memories suck ur energy leaving u tired n negative.

    Love u Anne for writing it down it wass just too good. You always hit at the right spot ALWAYS I will try to act if not all then mo$t of it. Tigjtest hug for writing it down. love u so much

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Wow…I am in awe of you.
    Well I am always one of those “I want to” persons thinking much about family’s approval. All those 10 pointers are totally true.
    Especially loved the ones about parents, world and attitude

    Like

  12. Anne, I’m impressed! You have put some serious thought into giving that advice to the 20 somethings. It requires quite some introspection to recall what it is that plagues one at this stage & to be able to word it out so succintly! I should not be surprised though….you have been always great at this!

    I would never have been able to dish this advice out pit-pat like you have inspite of having many more years of experience behind me. I can merely add my comments….its never too late to learn! One needs to have a positive attitude, energy & drive – that will be enough to fuel you through your decisions, your mistakes, your experiences. Those 10 points are so comprehensive that they cover even career & study issues which also would be a major source of tension for this group.

    Yes, another point..(I just cannot be organised like you Anne in my thoughts)…don’t judge yourself by what others think of you, you should have yourself as your benchmark. One should never live life with regrets, that is the greatest downer!

    Thanks Anne for this chance to air out some thoughts on this. I am so caught up in living life in my world, there is very little space left for this kind of ventilation.

    Like

  13. Where were you 10 years ago, huh? Where? Where were you?

    “Why didn’t you write me? Why? It wasn’t over for me. I waited for you for 10 years. But now its too late”

    Oh wait. I know. We spend the last 10 years figuring out this shit.

    Cheers, Anne. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Like

  14. anne, iam in my 30s – but loved the advices – I believe it applies not only to twenty somethings but to me tooo – iam still in my 20s at heart

    Like

  15. Love it.. Could see bits of my life unfold here

    Especially the part where you say Listen to your parents when they talk about your life &

    Bad things are going to happen to you, and even good things. (…)They will not be the only ones you have, and keeping the bad ones in the forefront constantly will stop you from having more and possibly richer experiences in your life.

    Truth is, it’s hard. But not impossible yh.. * patience.. Patience*

    This reminds me of the esoteric short story I read today at work ( as I mentally screamed, muttered & summoned “zen” LMAO)

    * giggles*
    point of the story was-

    ‘ this too shall pass’

    Have a nice evening! Cheers! Ciao xx

    Like

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