Anne, Celebrations

Valentine’s Day Character Guest Post: AFR (Chains)

So many pies. So little time to sample them all.

I mean all of you.

But, you already knew that didn’t you, my delectable hearts?

Yes, it’s me again. In the word, if not the flesh. Most of you know me as AFR, or That Sexy Bastard.

I wrestled posting rights away from Anne today, and when that happened there was skin touching a plenty which made me feel all kinds of good. But, then her husband came around clutching bouquets, humming God awful love songs, and assaulting her ears with his tongue. So, she left me alone.

She’s easy like that.

Hence, I was just sitting around planning what to do on here, while nursing my fourth drink… I mean, my bruised heart, and decided to write you all a love note.

Or would you prefer it be a hot lustful letter, my sweet little gumdrops?

Are you blushing?

Smiling?

No? Aww, come on over here and give me some lovin’ anyway. You remember how good that feels right?

So good.

It’s been a while since I’ve been out in the open, and just yesterday while I reminisced about the good old days with my old friend Jack, and that pedophile dog I’ve hung out with since boarding school, we all reached a conclusion.

It is high time some real men took the floor at this place.

I know, I know. I’ve been reading and catching up on stuff. A lot of new men going on. There are suave business magnets gunning around this blog these days. Not to mention dapper luxury car driving dudes, and machete wielding jungle studs playing porch footsie with stunning blondes.

And, she is stunning isn’t she? I see her flitting around here (in Anne’s head) sometimes. The girl likes trouble it seems. That makes her golden!

Screw toying with the bra strap I say… And, damned if I wouldn’t break the steps of that porch with her…

After, I rock the expensive Valentino off that sexy interview conducting chick, naturally. – Sweet and feisty = Delish.

Wait. What did you say? I really want them both together?

Hmm. Let me think… Peaches and cream in daddy’s king sized bed?

I likey.

Maybe I’ll invite that luscious European Lamb to join in… sans her orghini of course. No need for that. I’d warm her up way better than her Reventon ever could.

But, enough about desserts.

For now.

As you all probably know, for the last few months Anne’s been taking me out to play about once every week or so. She calls it “work” but she’s not fooling anyone. I mean this is me we’re talking about. All work and no play makes Jack…

Hold on a sec. Time for a refill.

Join me?

Jack Daniel's Single Barrel Select 5

Anyway, I know it’s not actually work like she says. She really just has a thing for my…

Ahem. Insert Character/Writer confidentiality, and we’re moving on…

She’s been toiling away at her laptop and a zillion notebooks with different coloured sticky notes pasted on their pages. And, she’s doing this with some weird misconception that I can be perfected of all things.

I know. I rolled my eyes too.

Then I winked and asked her to join me for a drink. She smacked my ass. – It stung. But, it was surprisingly pleasurable nonetheless.

No, it’s not my ass she has a “thing” for.

Everytime she brings me out, she’ll get all serious, glarey and occasionally, pissed off.

What’s in your head, you son of a sadistic fucker?” She keeps muttering under her breath.

The first time she said that, I was so pleased I performed a slow strip tease just for her. But, after she furiously bitch slapped me (repeatedly, might I add) I realized she didn’t mean my down there head, but the up where my eyes are head.

Who would have thought?

My friend, (the child molesting freak, not Jack) witnessed the spectacle and laughed his ass off at the misunderstanding (but he might have been trying to cover up how turned on he was by my stripping). So, anyway, I was upset so I went to see my therapist who said I tend to think that way because I wasn’t hugged enough as a kid.

Daddy issues. – But, we all know it’s really because Tina Verma literally worshipped my down there business so much when I was a teen, and it sort of became a habit to think its a given women mean that.

Ahh Tina! She was something. I would have attended another inter-course with her that week, but she’d already been at it with my brother by then. During my teens I wasn’t into his women.

Of course, it’s common knowledge I got inside them much later… But, never mind that.- Bygones etc.

Alright, so back to the business of “perfecting” me. I’m done trying to talk my creator aka spiced latte out of it. For now, I plan to go along with her and even help her out as much as I can. – I’m such a precious gemstone.

There have been whispers that someone “important” is going to most likely be reading me. She’s been hugging that little tidbit close to her chest for a while, and also staring dreamily off into space whenever she thinks no one’s looking.

It’s exciting her. I can tell.

But, I have that effect on women, so…

The writing part sometimes makes her pissy. Which in turn makes her yell all kinds of nasty things at me to make me behave myself.

It is truly tragic.

Thankfully, my level headed best friend (the prepubescent girl loving jerk) pops up from time to time to remind her that my misbehaviour is what she should write. – Then, she nods, pats me fondly on my head (the up there one sadly), croons in my ear that I’m her favouritest bastard, and gets to writing.

After that it’s usually only fun times. With a  dash of Tyler and a shot of Jack of course. We laugh a lot together the two of us. It’s kind of “our” thing.

Enough of that though. I have to leave soon. – It’s been a real pleasure. Seeing you frosted cupcakes again was as appetizing as champagne and strawberries on a hot summer’s night with Swedish twins. I should drop by here more often I think…

If you’ll have me… Or let me have you? Yes? – Yummy.

I hope you all are having a sensual and thrilling Valentine’s day. If you aren’t… call me. But for now, I have a hot date waiting.

OK so she’s not really waiting. – I made that up.

And, it’s not really a date. Made that up too.

Let’s call it a run in, shall we? Yeah, I like that. More my thing. I’ll just happen to be there, and just happen to run into her and all her hotness.

I wasn’t lying about that by the way. She is hot, and my all time favourite kind too.

Red hot.

And, velvety. Mmmm *snicker*

Till we meet again…

Love,

AFR

P.S. Listen, dance, let your hair down!

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31 thoughts on “Valentine’s Day Character Guest Post: AFR (Chains)”

  1. F..k Anne I’m supposed to be cooking right about now and calling the doc about my mil’s million woes. 😦
    Thanks for bringing in some much needed mirth to a day that started as shitty as it could get. I love you. But i will get back to this later much as I hate to wait…muahs.
    AFR. You can assault my… ummm ear with your tongue anytime darling. And I wont even ask for flowers or love songs…

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  2. OMG!!! AFR!! I remember him very vividly…And now this post reminded me how much I miss this bad boy! oh ho…Anne, I lost touch with him during the three series of Chains when I got so busy with work and life and when I came back the blog was closed and I couldn’t find the link in IF too…He is still bad and good, hot and sweet, spicey and sexy…I loved him talking about you..- the writer/character confidentiality norm between you two..the bitch slapping- pats and croons..lol! I almost laughed out loud at ” then her husband came around clutching bouquets, humming God awful love songs”. I had to control my laugh since I am at office and people here already know my screws and nuts has gone loose since its Valentines day…I love forward to read AFR. I hope you publish him soon – in hard copy soon! Good luck! 🙂

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  3. *Mouth hanging open*
    WHAT/WHO IS THIS FRESH PIECE OF YUM??!
    Why oh why did I check my email just before bed?! I won’t be able to sleep now waaaah.

    This is so cruelly unfair. Why couldn’t I have read Chains?! When is this book coming out?!?!

    You sir, Mr. AFR, tomorrow is SingleAwarenessDay for me, but I can get ready in under 1 minute to celebrate Valentines Day. You know what, I can get ready in under 10 seconds for you. I don’t take long to take all my clothes off. 8 seconds max.

    Anne, please clean this up -> drooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooool

    *Sigh* Oh man. Man oh sexy man. I better see you soon.

    Happy Valentines Day, Anne! This is a very, unfair and unkind, but heck of a sexy V-Day gift :D.

    Hugs and kisses to you both! If only we could attach pictures I’d send you a bouquet of flowers, and you Mr. AFR… Well 😉

    Xoxoxox (for both the beautiful As)

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  4. Oh wow Anne, you made my Valentines Day. The Fucking Bastard is here……oooh mama mia….

    Now as for you, Mr. AFR,
    Where the hell have you been? In my dreams, of course, and I wouldnt share what we were doing in there, but why not in front of me, Is the “Red” hot date distracting you off of me, or is it your creator, the evil evil “bitch slapping you” creator of you, Anne? Do not forget, I am the peach pie, and you have a thing for pies, and well a thing for “Jack” too, but darn it, dont you dare to forget me.

    And I am telling, even if I like the suave business magnets these days. or the dapper luxury car driving dudes, and I am slowly getting to be a fangirl over machete wielding jungle studs….but but but nothing like you hunny bun. Nothing like you.

    What do I hear? You stripped for Anne, Oh come on, she has a husband alright, (well I have one too, the knowledge of which I am easily letting to slip off my mind, just because), that is just not fair. Plus she gets you all the time anyway, you can sneak away from her notepads-with-colored-sticky-notes and come with me, I promise, I will not try to “perfect” you, because in my head, you are one delectable perfect yummy piece of mmmmm….better not say that.

    Come on here you, I will show you what “red” hot dates are like, get you to forget some of the Red you have going on there, and remember some of peaches that you’ve missed 😛

    Your sexy, forever waiting to be gorged on, lush, sensuous, creamy,
    Peach Pie.

    Oh Anne, this was just an amazing amazing Valentines treat from you.
    btw I did not miss the little tidbit our AFR shared here – “someone important will be reading him”. Okay what is that? I am kind of in dreamland too, thinking about it.
    Muah muah muah ❤ Keep bringing my AFR back, and please dont be so hard on him, The Sexy Bastard is the best ever, and mine forever 🙂

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  5. Shit shit shit.. He is delectable, now I regret I couldn’t ever read Chains completely. What a gift of Valentines day Anne. This turned my day all happy 🙂 From all alone to celebrations with AFR. Hugs and kisses both of you 🙂

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  6. OMG sexy’s back and how. Making me grin from ear to ear and just with his sense of humour (to begin with). Love letter following in a bit.

    And Anne that’s a lovely Valentin’e day gift. Blowing a thousand kisses your way. ❤ you.

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    1. My wanton avatar, who unfortunately had to go into hibernation when Anne decided to stop sharing AFR with the rest of us, is back. Merely this man’s words are enough to make one go weak in the knees and wet in the… hmmm… never mind.

      While I haven’t been much around here to notice the other men (you bitches will have to wait for some time for my attention) but yeah AFR is THE MAN.

      AFR – Come here mister. You wily wench! You and only you can make me a promiscuous girl. My man may just run after you with a gun if he comes to know what you and I do inside my head to your head – the one down there head and the one where your eyes are head. So much head I tell you it’s making me dizzy…with pleasure of course.

      Tell that cradle snatcher that I miss his quips as much as I miss you.

      Now go ahead and enjoy your red velvet cake. The cake will always be before me. Sigh. But if you ever change your mind you know where to look.

      You, Spiced Latte (that’s some name :)) are one heck of an amazing person and a sweetheart. But you already know that, don’t ya??

      Keeping my fingers crossed. Amen.

      Laters …. Muah

      Like

  7. AFR first thing on 14th Feb! wow! you made my day Anne.

    Happy Valentine’s to all the fellow readers.
    I am waiting for Chains to be published ….. miss AFR !
    Wish I got flowers and gifts too Magar mera Buddha nahin lata mere liya. But my daughters do 🙂

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  8. AFR I know all about your little ‘work’ rendezvous..and you ain’t fooling me. Jack, sweat and a whole lot of froth that’s what always happens despite Anne’s prissy lame protests.. “oh no no we have to DISCUSS and put this down” but all she really does is scream “fuck yeah!!” till she is hoarse .. so don’t you cutie pie me…there is another chick on this blog and i know what exactly goes around mister!

    You need to get out of Anne’s grip more often babe. Yeah there are enough hot men prowling around this blog and that Des guy’s been working me up to a lather but hey …. let’s be honest there is a gaping wide void here and we all know who has to fill it.

    So stop whining and get over here already!!!

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    1. * giggles*

      Quick shout out!

      Lmao

      I know CHani has a MAJOR THING for AFR!!!

      * giggles*

      * goes away giggling*

      Mmmmmmmuah!

      Thanks soooooo much Anne!!

      You. Have. No. Idea.
      ; p

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          1. * giggles*

            Kill Your Creativity?

            Not by a longggggg JD shot!

            # yes I’m here again # smirk

            N yh.. That was pure Fun!!!!n sexy.. N funnnnn!!!
            Lmao

            AFR & his one-liners forever!!!!!!!!!! #cheerleader mode

            Yep u know our reactions .. #reddens

            Ahahahahahaaaaaaaaa

            #memories still fresh

            * grinning with dreamy eyes*

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  9. I swear I just hung up on my bf with an incoherent bye koz

    AFR decided to show his lazy ass on V-day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    * bliss*

    * major bliss*

    The day is brighter.. Warmer.. Beautiful.. I feel satiated #seriously!!!!

    I turned all shades of pink, smiling shyly and widely and… I literally want to roll my eyes at the back head

    I’m pretty sure I’m not making sense

    AFR’s bestie … Can I just say that gave me a blood rush from my ears to my finger tips, skipping my elbows but warming my arms..? * sighs*

    N I was missing Eva sooooooo much.
    Him writing about her made the cheeky ( n possibly lascivious # shrugs) smile grow a bit sad..as I remembered them both together.. Her writings n his drawls

    Remember that scene on the couch, where he had his head on her lap while they spoke about K.Jibraan n he shared with her how his mom made him read poetry from him

    I should stop no? Going to chase the sun (white bikini all packed)

    Stopping just for now. C’mmon AFR the freaking sexy ..* sighs* * too stunned for words* is here.. 4sure I’ll have to haunt this page to lap up his every single freaking word…

    * dreamy sigh*

    Thanks for the early morning date.. Mmmmmmmuah HAPPY VALENTINE’s Day!!!!!

    P.S – I love you AFR # Gee, of course I HAD to say it!!!

    * blows kisses all over this page*

    * sits up in bed and gives a small bed dance/ semi twirl*

    Mmmmmmmmmmuah!!!!!!

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  10. Oh my God !!! What a beautiful Valentines Day !
    Couldn’t have asked for a better one …
    I see you’re as sexy as ever !
    was wondering if you were in hibernation with Jack but just got yo
    know exactly where you’ve been hiding that ass and head of yours !

    Thanks Anne … Happy Valentines Day to you too … Muah …

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  11. I’m reading this, and scared of how your mind works, Anne.

    So, the sexiest bastard decided to make an appearance, and that too on this day.
    He was missed.

    I wonder what Mr APR would have to say about this prince charmings return…

    I miss the chains series!
    Please, bring the sexy back.

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  12. Oh my God!!!!

    You brought the Big man out!!

    i am blushing , turning all red and hot!!

    He has the power to strip that Valentino off my skin by just sipping that Jack!!

    You AFR, are the fucking boss!!

    Seduce Anne but she will still dance to her hubby’s tune, but that epic resistance , I can watch over and over again!!

    Pedophile friend will laugh at your stunts , as I ogle over the hotness that is you.

    The suit magnets and the strangers of this land have nothing on you, mate!!

    Dip that eva sauce and be our Valentine forever!!

    Heart you AFR, now and forever!!

    This Valentine , I will , eat that macron for you!!

    love, heart and sex!!

    Lucky Anne and luckier us!!

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  13. whadafuk!..now i’m rrrreally sad I joined IF too late – after chains was taken off.. is that the eye candy i missed?..*sigh*..and what am i hearing about chains being published?.. is that true?

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  14. Oh my God Anne..when I received the notification in my email,I really thought you are planning to bring AFR back …I miss the chain series so much …But this was a good valentines day treat from you…I miss AFR and Red and of course Jack!!
    waiting for the hard copy!!

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  15. Wow wow wow… And he’s back! The delectable AFR… Oh how I’ve missed thee! Thank you for a great surprise! Is he going to be coming out again soon?!?!
    So… Is this true that chains will be published? How exciting – it definitely deserves to be – a masterpiece… Of what I read!

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  16. OMG!!! Chain’s are going to be published!!!…awesome news… Lovers don’t need any special day for love… but it’s always feel good having a special day for celebration…About AFR!!! I can only smell him…UMMMMMM

    Like

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