Anne, Celebrations

Defending Love. – Well, Sort of…

Today, I’m bogged down with too many things to do. Incomplete projects I need to review, some new ones I have to tackle (I don’t know why I do this “new” shit), and some stagnant ones begging for my attention (thanks for the emails, yes I’m fine, Des did not die on the porch steps. Control your hormones, people!)

So, all I’m going to share today is part of a (chat) conversation I had with a friend earlier this morning. – It relates to love and relationships (if you can ignore the crap), and I thought it would fit in (maybe a little) with the SoR theme.

I’ve excluded her name because she’s sort of super private (and also a scaredy cat.) But, I do have her permission to post the convo.

Also, you will see why I’m not a good friend to have.


P.S. The chat was a long one, this is just the last five minutes. Trust me, I saved you all unending minutes of mental badgering. – You’re welcome.


Her: It’s not that I’m NOT over him. I am. You KNOW that… come on!

Me: So what’s the problem?

Her: I told you. I’m just down.

Her: I’m down because I don’t know why this keeps happening to me. Life is so unfair!!!!!!

Me: I have four words for you.

Her: What?

Me: Shut up your whining!

Her: 😦

Me: No, don’t pout at me. Life is unfair. Shit happens. Deal with it.

Me: And go away. I’m busy.

Her: When your kids are teens, send them to me. To save them from despair… and disgrace.

Me: So they can learn how to whine even worse than they already do?

Her: I’m just down (and trying to save your kids) Don’t be mean.

Me: And, I’m just about to grab a lamp and hit myself over the head. Imposed depression makes me do that.

Her: The heart wants what the heart wants! I can’t help it if this stuff keeps happening to me. Love is so shit.

Me: Really? You’re quoting Emily Dickinson now?

Her: She said that.

Me: Yes, she did. Emily the recluse that is. Whose only true love affair was with ink and parchment btw.

Me: Oh and love is not shit. Now go away, I need to work.

Her: Yes it is.

Me: I don’t care if you need to work. But go anyway.

Her: You’re avoiding the fact that it IS shit. Chicken.

Me: Calm yourself. Love is not shit.

Me: Love is also not blind.

Her: Yeah yeah

Me: Or deaf, dumb, and stupid.

Her: Is this going somewhere?

Me: Was your whining going somewhere?

Her: OK OK. I sense a lecture.

Me: Damn right you do. You love your parents don’t you? Your friends, your siblings, your first grade teacher? That’s not stupid is it? No. Of course not. So, for the love of all things silver, stop blaming love. It makes me edgy.

Her: Silver?

Me: You fell in love and it was wonderful. Overnight everything changed. – The stars looked brighter, the world had more colour, you were smiling more, laughing a lot, daydreaming for hours, and lost in magic.

Her: How is this a lecture? And, don’t you have to go?

Her: and oh… silver?

Me: It all leads to silver.

Her: I’m not understanding your silver.

Me: I’m not understanding your self-imposed whineyness.

Her: Love is not silver. It’s shit.

Me: Get your paws off my silver. And stop calling love shit.

Her: Umm You were lecturing?

Me: Right. You were lost in magic blah blah… But, then something happened. Overnight everything changed. – He left. The stars lost lost their luster, the world turned bleak and grey, you couldn’t smile, laugh or even daydream. The magic was gone. Am I right?

Her: Yeah. So, so right.

Me: Bullshit.

Her: You’re just being mean again now.

Me: I haven’t even begun… my silver lecture.

Her: WTFisthissilver? Seriously!!! * deep breath * OK, so begin.

Me: What really happened, sweetheart, is that you probably spotted this gorgeous streak of silver one day, and you toppled into the deep end without a second thought. But, believing it was really the shallow end, you struck out towards the silver streak anyway.

Her: What? Silver streak??? You’re obsessed with silver.

Me: Since I was four.

Her: How does that relate to my love life? (or lack of it?)

Me: Turns out, that piece of metallic magic was a super-hot shark called Finn.

Her: His name is ******

Me: I prefer Finn for a silvery shark.

Her: Fine.

Me: Finn, not Fine.

Her: Are you drunk?

Me: On coffee. Not the Irish kind though.

Her: So… Finn… The shark.

Me: Silver shark.

Her: Whatever.

Me: But when Silver Finn smiled he looked like Nemo.


Me: Nemo/Finn, Finn/Nemo, Fimo. Let’s call him Fimo

Her: Get to the point.

Me: So… caught up in bliss and the magic of that silver smile directed at you and you alone, you quickly updated Facebook with “in a relationship”and off you went flapping around from Lonely Heart Lane right down to Heartbreak Hotel where Fabulous Fimo said the view was awesome and the drinks were expensive but amazing. (Also, the stars in your eyes blinded you, which as we know were shining even more brightly right then.)

Her: Seriously? You’re writing a story about it now?

Me: First draft, nothing major. – Anyway… Not that you cared too much about the view. All you wanted to do was gaze lovingly into his eyes and wait patiently for his declaration of love. And, when you heard it, fireworks exploded in your heart and everything took on a dream-like quality.

Me: But, he dumped you outside the hotel and took off in a hurry. You didn’t know why, but wait… What was that you saw in the distance? A FISH tail attached to a woman’s BODY? What? Did he run after THAT? No, of course not, that couldn’t… Wait. WTF were you doing outside a cheap motel? ZOMG! Was this… Was he… NO! OMG No! Never. OmgOmgOmgOmg! Where were the lusterous stars when you needed them to blind you from your own morfitication? You needed to run, you needed shelter. You needed to change your relationship status on Facebook!!!!

Her: You’re a horrible person who trivializes another’s pain.(past pain. But still my pain)

Me: Fuck your pain. This is just fun now. I’ll have to edit later though, first drafts are shit.

Her: You’re supposed to hold my hand, not turn this into a NY Times Bestseller

Me: I’d burn a story like this, then kill myself for writing it in the first place.

Her: They’d make a movie out of my life story.

Me: Opera. Much loud whining and all…

Her: Bitch.

Me: Come over and make me coffee. I can’t leave my laptop… I’m stuck in a whine bucket.

Her: I’d rather get back to work.

Me: And, I’d rather whip your butt to remove the silly virus you’ve contracted and then get back to writing real nonsense.

Her: I told you I was over him. Stop bitching.

Me: Stop whining.

Her: OK, so there “might” be some truth in what you said.

Me: About Fimo?

Her: Yeah. Bad choice. You’re right. Leaped before I looked. Carry on (the whipping)

Me: Ah responsibility. Yay! * applause *

Her: Thanks.

Me: The applause was for me, not you. I saved love from needless blame.

Her: THAT was your agenda?

Me: Naturally. And, stopping your whining.

Her: I need new friends.

Me: I need new pens.

Her: What?

Me: Go away.

Her: Fine.

Me: Finn



21 thoughts on “Defending Love. – Well, Sort of…”

  1. Love is an overrated emotion in our part of the world fuelled by our writers and movies. in times where we barely scrape up enough minutes to talk to each other, pining after a loved one is a luxury most of us cant afford. but all said and done, the feeling of being in love is incomparable – yes the colours seem brighter and the universe worth living; but when abandonment sets in, the amount of hurt u have to go through is immeasurable. throw in the opinions of people around u and the mess becomes messier.
    Life should be like a flowing river; pick up the pieces and start walking – thats the only thing that helps


  2. OH my effing God, my sides hurt from laughing!! This is so major!!
    When do I buy tickets to this Opera.

    This piece was so Finn.

    You, Anne, the Rockstar!!

    Love you!!

    while I go and laugh some more!!


  3. Oh Anne! You are certainly not a bad friend..Sometimes you got to do this, thanks for the will come handy..I counsel a lot…Well, this post made me laugh out so loudly…then reflect…..did a brief diving into the past where I had been a whine bucket and when people had whined to me about heartbreaks..Well, I certainly don’t possess your charm in ‘healing’ but I do try to make sense after lot of struggling and patience to get them out of their ‘just low’ condition..

    Btw, I am 50-50 on her statement – at times, you could send your kids to her..she whines so cutely! lol!


  4. LOL… Aww your poor friend… I totally relate to her… but then I totally relate to you too… we all need friends who need to kick us when we need a good kicking… it was a funny conversation lol…


  5. For Faith

    And when those clouds cry, it will soothe your pain..

    #watching rain
    #in love
    #waiting for the skies to clear
    #and new clouds will appear


    1. Anne

      Philophobia.. The fear of falling in love and being in love

      ; p

      # I hope you (all) dance

      * grins*

      * butterflies*


      * singing n mentally twirling*

      Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens


  6. I wanna say, It was fabulous… life become beautiful when you are in love…But after breakup it become more beautiful as you can opt for other beautiful options… I m not joking..I mean it… as a true friend u did what u should….
    I wish u friend to be blessed with another love…soon…


  7. That was hilarious…
    I have always wanted to fall in love.then thought its an over exaggerated concept. So forget it let’s jump behind the shallow streak and live life…
    Neither has happened, so u can imagine….


  8. Lol – that is very funny ….. I feel sorry for ur friend , but as u said, shit happens , she just has to move on . She will find a new one . I used to brood abt things , but quickly learned that they were not worth it . I am glad u try to put some sense in her . It’s a difficult conversation though . Debate between being nice / tough .


  9. Hilarious Anne! I literally rolled over when I read –
    Her: Seriously? You’re writing a story about it now?

    hahaha, trust you to be a drama queen and make it into a story! Well, thats what real writers are for. 🙂
    If this is how your conversations go like, when a (in-pain) whiny friend wants to talk, then I will constantly badger you with my (nonsensical-not-so-much-in-pain) whiny rants, which I’ve done before. Because the end result is the person in pain (even though being annoyed at you) forgetting about all of it, and moving on. Thats what matters. You did help her, and I am sure you knew it would. LOL 😛


  10. Ah whining frnds over the break ups! exactly what I needed to let my frustration out

    And, I’m just about to grab a lamp
    and hit myself over the head. Imposed
    depression makes me do that.

    so true so damn true n m suffering right now for a very veryyyy dear frnd cum sister of mine she is gng through this phase n if I m not wrong the plus point for ur frnd is tht the relation wasn’t a prolonged one while in her case it is n now m at the receiving end of whining. How good to b the bitch n tell her I have examz so shut ur whining but I can’t. why we have to b good frnds n not bitches at this time. Every night she will ping me n start with this all. And really I m tired of this I have no hope I have no one I can’t get over him. I can’t even laugh but all I want to do is whack her on da head or myself coz seriously Life doesn’t end wid him. There I said atleast some things I wanted n thank u soooo much for sharing it n allowing me to let my frustration out.


  11. My head is spinning after reading this convo… But it was fun.
    N about love thing, i believe the love that is written in novels n stories does not happen in real life…
    Love is quite overrated these days…
    For me love is a gradual process which take years to finally realize its depth…
    A person falls in love n out of love many a times during there love life n its natural…
    Falling in love again n again is true love for me.
    So these are my tiny-viny views about love.


  12. That was hilarious Anne. However, you were a true friend counselling her very indirectly…..diversionary tactics or usage of reverse psychology? Love – I agree with you that love can be multifaceted & can be manifested in its varied avatars with our near & dear.


  13. You’re right Anne! Love isn’t to be blamed… everr! It is beautiful ❤
    I think now.. these new times.. we have learnt to love ourselves too and give ourselves & our lives enough importance to respect it and feel its worth! And not let one (scroundel) aspect of life define all it all..
    Failed relationships (and useless jerks) hurt..n it feels like a loss.. but seriously those unappreciative disrespectful asses running away in the opposite direction is a total gain for all and a very kind second chance from God! Yea so whining can seem and feel a liTTle i-need-to-slap-you-out-of-90's-chic-flicks annoying.. jus a little XP
    LOVE your post/ conv/ chat! :*


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