Sex (2)

Again?”

Yeah baby. You know you want it.”

I don’t. I really don’t.”

I know you do. You know you do. We both know you do.”

Noooo Aaahhhh Yes! Oh yessssss I do!”

You’re going to get it. Hard.”

Ohhhhh!”

And everyone is going to see you getting it with my monster cock.”

Aaaahhhhh”

I love when you scream with pleasure, and pain. Scream some more baby. I want to hear your pussy screaming.”

Ahhhhh”

Louder.”

AAAHHHHHHH Oh God! I love when you give it to me. Hard.”

Oh yes! I’m going to give it to you so hard with my monster cock against this window, and the whole world will see this happening. They will see me fucking you against the pane, they will hear your pussy screaming.”

Ahhhhhh! Ohhh don’t stop! I want your monster cock! I want them to see!

My pussy is screaming. Ahhhhhh I WANT THEM TO SEEEEEE AHHHHHH!”

I’m not going to stop, baby. I also WANT the world to see this. Me fucking you with my monster cock against a window.” (But no one could really see anything because even though it was a car window, it was one of those darkened ones which no one from the outside could see through. Also, it was night time and the car was parked in an empty lot which had no lights, so the couple were really safe from prying eyes.)

~

What’s wrong with this picture?

Aside from the cock being bigger than the window.

And all that screaming from way down low.

The writer chickened out. That’s what’s wrong with it.

That sudden rambling explanation of how the hot and bothered exhibitionist mutant couple could not actually be seen really just reeked of… quaking fear.

Their entire sex act went down the exhaust pipe.

Sad.

Because it could have been fun if a Mr. Pervy MacPervson from the corner store held off on his nightly Snicker-snack to watch the mutants and get his rocks off. Or if a cop stopped by and instead of whipping out his ticket-book, got so turned on that he whipped out his own monster cock and joined the mutants.

The possibilities were limitless.

Alas, it ended with a tremendous climax after some good old fashioned private vanilla sex and lots of Aaaaahhhhhs from the female mutant.

And, you know why?

Because it was imperative for the reader to understand that the female lead was a good, chaste young woman, and that the male respected her too much.

The double standard made me want to vomit.

Because it should never have been about chasteness and what not. It was a scene showing raw sex, designed to ignite fire in the reader. You don’t toss a bucket of cold water over that halfway through and start narrating like a priest giving a sermon on modesty.

Your reader is not stupid.

Or lacking in modesty.

Another one of those classic crap filled sex scenes which become so disjointed and ridiculous (and not only because of the monster cock and screaming pussy) that it makes the average reader want to hit their head against a wall.

Or a car window.

With clear glass.

Will twelve year old girls please stop writing this shit?

Or if you’re forty something and writing sex that is fantasy but still makes you uncomfortable, could you please… Not?

I’m not the only one who finds this weird on so many levels, right? I can’t be.

And, of course I’m getting to the monster cock, darlings.

You knew I would. I knew you’d know I would.

We alllllll knew!

Hahahaa

So, why the male protagonist would describe his boy bit as a “monster cock” is really just… I don’t have the words. Except that maybe the writer wanted the world to believe the protagonist was south of six inches when aroused and trying to… compensate with words?

Or maybe it really was seventeen inches long and nine inches thick?

3vpcps

I guess that’d be enough to make any pussy scream.

I hope you all are doing well. I’ve been sort of out of commission for the last week and more, so Eight in the Morning and Saturday Sounds along with other things got neglected in the bargain. I should be up to updating more often from here on out.

This is belated, but Eid Mubarak to all who celebrated the holiday. Hope you all had a good one.

Thanks for stopping by.

Much love,

Anne

*Disclaimer*

The above scene is based on part of a chapter from a story I was directed to, and is made up entirely by me. It is not the exact scene from the story, and neither is the dialogue from the original piece.

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31 thoughts on “Sex (2)

  1. OMFG – did I really read this!

    Take a bow , you cheeky one. The sex was indeed underwhelming, the cock was too cocky. The monster turned into a squib.

    The picture was disturbing . The guy had some serious insecurities , he wanted the world to see , seeked validation for his supposedly Jupiter stick. The woman seemed naive, chaste and submissive. Basically the prototype of society’s good girl.

    There were so many possibilities that could have emerged out from this scenario , I think somewhere more than hesitation it was perhaps lack of knowledge on the part of the writer. Hence the over emphasize on “hard” , cock and the cries. All signify that sex was epic but words fail to measure up to this monster stick. Or was it about playing the target audience, the young teen girls who would fangirl about the supposedly rawness of this scene and giggle at the word hard. No need to get into the details or the gory , the applause would follow and the goal achieved. In that case, writer well played. You get an A in marketing.

    This was fun, way to talk sex in the morning! I would wait for a what you think was a good sex scene!

    till then , a belated Eid Mubarak ! May you stay this sassy!

    Loads of love and hugs!

    Like

  2. I HATE screaming pussy and monster cocks. Monster cocks in Asia are as rare as sightings of the Yeti in the Himalayas so chances of any Desi boy sporting a monster cock are next to nothing… And pink pussy is even rarer. I don;t get why we have such an inferiority complex?! And no, size means nothing if you know what to do with your thing!

    Seriously 12 year olds should be writing about creative rainbows and ponies and ninjas!! That’s what I would write about.. and aliens and vampires (not the disco ball vampires from twilight,) and werewolves with loads of blood and gore!!

    What is the world coming to? I mean like seriously… just watch porn! There is no shame in watching porn! Just don’t insult the world of literature by posting shit… and don’t even get me started on the repetitive sex… first he pumps her breasts for oil then he goes down on her, then she goes down on him and then he enters her for about a minute and comes…. waaat?!

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    1. Applause for the post and a standing ovation for this comment.

      After a hectic day this cracked me up! So much sense wit and humour.

      Seriously i see so many people just describe a sex scene straight off from porn. And no mattet how raunchy they want to sound in the end the girl has to look purer than driven snow.

      If you are uncomfortable dont write it. If you write it do it justice and do justice to the character. Even if its porn you are writing. Or just stick to the gifs its less painful that way even for the reader.

      Yeti remark munchy extra kisses for that one. Made my day

      Like

  3. As usual, I read this again, considering this was was written by someone from South Asia, that explains the lack of openness about sex which forces these younger lot to indulge in this hypocrisy.

    Sex continues to be a shunned subject, the one which is not to be discussed in public. So they do try to flirt with the subject but then end up over-justifying themselves , they like to conform with the society boundaries.

    Another- the need to have the hero always as the “good guy”, even if he is grey , he is meant to do the “right thing”. Sex before marriage has to be justified to cater to the moral values of the readers. This reminds me how in old bolly movies, they used to show a kiss scene with two flowers covering them.

    I second Munchy, there is nothing wrong with porn or sex. And rather than experimenting with words they should read and be more aware of sexuality.

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  4. Anne … missed your rambling 🙂 …
    and people get a reality check … there is no Monster cock !!!
    and as Munchy rightly says it’s not about the size 😉

    Belated Eid Mubarak … and ladies a Happy Karva Chauth …

    Like

  5. I have come across this kind of stuff many times..all over the internet..when i was 15-16 ..used to give these these things a read out of curiosity..i think there is an common misconception about the fact that if u write about sex explicitly u are considered to be a good writer..the amateur writers don’t get that..i have read romance with absolutely no exaggeration about monster cock..but they were brilliant..Brilliant post..And i absolutely loved Munchy’s comment.

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  6. If this was real I would ask the guy with the big tool to just get a blow up doll than make the poor girl suffer in that car. If it really was a monster cock it would be scary.

    Getting back to sex scenes in writing, oohs and aahs and descriptions of anatomy leave me cold. It’s so disappointing when a writer has set the scene for something to happen the sexual tension and anticipation that leaves one breathless and then flounders with a ‘mechanical’ description of sex. I like a good old sex scene when it’s done well and not just randomly stuck in to a story. But I wish writers who perhaps aren’t comfortable with writing sex scenes (and it shows) would realize they don’t have to – us readers aren’t as fickle as that.

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  7. Anne my first reaction was wht the! m I really gonna read this from u coz till now I haven’t read it ever in ur stories I though have read only few but still i havent reqd any such scene. lol …… the scene u wrote. ghosh such s scenes always put me off n all I want to do is PUKE like really man. pathetic. … n too much detailed scene like describing every happening n wht not making the ff more like a porn movie…. its just too much n I don’t know wht thy try to prove or show by writing in this manner

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  8. Oh so carnal, so much pukably carnal, like cringeworthy 😉 What shit man… I second Munchy and wish they don’t insult the literature by writing this

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  9. The sex scene was very pathetic. It was hilarious to read. Seriously, a year twelve olds girl writing sex scene! This is crazy ….what is wrong with her? She should be write about fairytales or something else.
    Hey Eid Mubarak u too!

    Like

  10. uhmm wtf did I just read? I didn’t know where to laugh my ass off or be disgusted by such scenes…so maybe I’ll just do a bit of both? I wasn’t expecting to read this after coming on this blog after such a long time but goshh it was worth reading it! I just feel that often sex can get overrated…as in throwing in a sex scene at the most random times just to make it ‘sexy’ …its actually sad because this what the youth is growing into..

    Like

  11. Oh god your example just made spit the water I was drinking at my phone from laughing so hard!

    Laughing aside tho, you make a very good point. I’ve come across such writers while reading fanfics & similar awfully written sex scenes & I find they can put me off the rest of the story. I’m not someone who needs an overdose of sex in a story really but I just feel that if you’re gonna write one in then you fully commit to it & go all out. Anything less leaves a bad taste & shows up the rest of the writing.

    Anyways, that’s my opinion based on past stories I’ve read; I’m happy to say you guys are pretty much the only writers whose work I read these days so I have no complaints at all in that department lol 😉

    Hope you’re well & a belated Eid Mubarak to you too xx

    Asma

    Like

  12. omfg ha ha ha i can’t stop laughing my husband thinks ive gone mad

    u know how to get attention when making a valid point

    u made u point so clearly

    i agree overdose of sex scenes in some stories have been so bad in IF

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  13. OMG I am laughing like crazy lady here! Do people really write like this, I mean come on………who write like this. poor reader I would say. I had a bad week so I needed this laugh so for that Thank you.

    Like

  14. hehehe
    some of these scenes dont make you love them but abhor the whole act
    i really dont understand how can the word monster be alluring
    for me monster is somethind dangerous which can only make me frighten not aroused

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  15. Interesting topic!
    I really appreciate your bringing up this issue … millions of fictions being posted in some forum or site or blog with such meaningless stuffs.. and people claim that they are writers!

    How beautifully you expressed the readers’ view! I feel sick thinking that 12 year (or even 15 year) old girl writing fictions with 18+ label… Why??

    However, I guess they have certain readers.. who are as naive and stupid as those writers!

    Anyways, thanks for such a thought-provoking piece!

    Like

  16. Got to this today. loved the piece and the comments as well. was a little uncomfortable while reading the sex scene and then that anti-climax..lol. plus the fact that it was a 12 yr old writing such stuff left me a little astounded. but then sadly i see around me the children maturing way too fast than earlier, either way. the kind of exposure they have access to.

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  17. ha ha ha…it was awesome!..can’t stop laughing!
    as I said earlier big turn off…hhmm i wonder why the guy always has to be “Huge” and the girl -“virgin with pinkest of nipples and pussy?…cant they be normal people?!

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  18. wow..now that was some serious and funny ramblings. The immature perspectives makes people write such stupid and crap scenes like that I guess.
    I was caught up with real life issues..back to reading. I am so sorry for not being regular. I am yet to read so many posts in derangedwriters blog. I am not sure when will I get time to finish all the pending ones..

    Like

  19. Lol this made me crack up. You know people who aren’t comfortable with writing such scenes shouldn’t venture into them. You can have a great story without the constant need to fill it with sex. Sigh when will people understand that?

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  20. Well, you know. It takes a certain type of skill set to right such a, descriptive scene … I`ve never heard you describe the EXACT SIZE of The Penis, or the sounds, which are obviously loud, or how many times the man has to reassure the woman, (and himself) that he can, and will do this …

    I mean, look at the effort .. my, my …

    *goes off to ponder (die of laughter)

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  21. I’ll just say this – if I want to read sex – I will not clutter it with a story. And thankfully my ideas of right and wrong are rather well defined. I easily turn the page and move on with the story – assuming of course that it is still interesting enough to excuse this little faux pas the author made 😉

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  22. Both this and the first part got me thinking….I agree with @therainbowwaves above..If there is a monster cock and tiny pink pussy, lets just have that and no story.. ha ha.. there is nothing which kills a beautiful story when the author tries to include all cliches involved with sex .. In most cases which I have read containing explicit scenes, I’ve noticed that some of it comes from inexperience of what actually happens during the act and a lot of it from the conditioning we have received growing up about what a taboo topic sex is. I’m all for subtlety unless i’m reading porn.. 😀

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  23. You really know how to make a statement – shock treatment, no less! This particular example screams of juvenile imagination or fantasy, whatever!

    It is alarming that we have young people writing this off as a story, or part of a story, & getting like minded people to read & appreciate it also. Wish they could take abreak from writing itself or write about something which suits their age better.

    Like

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