I am sure most of you are wondering what is with these “Whispered Monologues”, well it was my first blog and i am loathe to part with it and it’s also my means of expressing myself *gasp*… yes i do that sometimes. So when i want to just ramble i whisper my monologues.
I know i am late on an update and its being written and re written ( that’s another one of my traits) and on top of it i seem to have caught the cold or more likely the bubonic plague because i have done nothing but sneeze and spew snot all over the place for the last three days.
Some of you may know me a little and of my writing style but for others who are new i am basically a history buff and a avid dreamer. I write a lot in my head and not so fast on the laptop. I am also painstaking when it comes to research and sometimes annoyingly so, therefore you have to be patient.
Like most of the really good writers i too started out reading. From a very young age and for me it was this ability to be a mental traveler that allured me. I would devour books, one a day at most. I would rush home after school, immediately finish my homework and settle down with a book and try and finish it in lightening speed before my mother came and yelled at me to go to sleep so i will get up on time for school next day. There was no greater joy than to get lost in their world. To be one of the Famous Five solving little mysteries, Nancy Drew the super sleuth and then graduating to the heavier stuff like Austen, Dickens, Shakespeare, Elliot, Fitzgerald, Hemingway, Wharton and when i first read the Bronte’s i thought i had died. Wuthering Heights continues to be the most haunting book for me and the thought that this was written by a woman who lived in isolation just shook my world. It showed me another dimension of what dark deep passions and truly blurred lines meant. It also showed me the power of imagination. It does not have to be science fiction or mythical world but this space between a man and a woman, between love and hate, obsession and madness what depths these words carry. And what a world you could create simply from one concept.
I remember watching “The Namesake” a few years back and smiling as they quoted Gogol. It’s true you can be in Victorian England,in the Yorkshire moors, in the spaceship, in the middle of the Amazon without moving an inch. And the greatest gem of it all the life experiences you learn through all these characters.
I usually re read books and as for the characters i first try and read it without judgement, i want to see what the author is trying to say. This is not so easy because your mind is screaming ” but … but… no he can’t, surely not” and all that nonsense. But what i found is when i don’t judge and don’t go in with pre conceived notions is when you see the true beauty. Then i apply myself into the situations that character goes through and i wonder, what would i do if i were in his/ her place… would i make the same choices? am i so different?
This is the greatest learning for me . You experience and learn something that you would normally would never get a chance to experience. And another interesting thing is, your view changes. I remember my Literature teacher telling me when i was reading Gone with the wind for the first time… she said” Read it now in your teens, then in your twenties and thirties and forties and fifties… and you might feel differently about each of the characters. What you think is stupid now will be revealed in a new light”. And she is absolutely right. And she is absolutely right. I have read it about twenty times already and its much more different now in my thirties than when it was when i first read it. I look at those characters very differently and to this day no other book has come close to it’s matchless ending.
This is why i ended up writing. It’s like you have these characters that have so much value, like gemstones and you put them on a white piece of paper and you shine a light on them and they all gleam. But as you move the light different facets catch the light some parts shine and some are in darkness and depending on where you move the light to you see something different and sometimes through their very core. The light and the darkness are both part of one it’s the angle that you look at which creates the dimension. Sometimes you cant keep staring at it as it blinds you, you need to step away and come back and things are revealed in a new light.
When I start I usually don’t have a set plan or an elaborate plot or a great ending in mind. There are these characters and they want to tell a story. All i do is take my reader and put them beside them on the white paper and i just keep moving the light and watch the magic happen.